Party like a frotstar

The title is completely unrelated, I'm not going to go on a rant about the gay community in LA or how their AIDS walk forced me to sit in traffic all day while I was trying to pick up beer for football viewing...but just Wikipedia the word "frot" I assure you it is the most hilarious entry on the site.

Now that we are in the full swing of Autumn, I thought I would put together a little checklist of sorts. Lots of my time at the Booze News back in the day focused on compiling witty top 10 lists and what not, something that I have gone away from in recent years. However, since you all have the attention span of an ADHD preteen, I've put together a nice easy list of the ten things you need to accomplish before December 21st.

10. Go to a tailgate. Bonus points if you go somewhere other than your alma mater. I realize that many of you moved away from your comfortable hometown and that a trip back to college just to get fucked up is quite low on your vacation list. But really, you needn't leave most major cities to find a D1 football team, a field, and a group of people to go get hammered with. You don't even have to go to the game, just drink outside in a parking lot or some shit. Chicago folk, go check out a Wildcats game and crush some Buff Joe's in Evanston before you head back. DC kids, go to a Georgetown game, New York...I don't know if they have college football in New York...maybe try taking the LIRR to Hofstra...maybe just skip to item 9.

9. Road trip. For whatever reason, fall is always the best time to take an impromptu road trip. Take a few days off and do something spontaneous. Maybe drive 4 hours to a cool concert with 4 friends, go to an away football game, Vegas, just get in the car and fucking drive, throw a dart at a map, break up the monotony of 55 degree weather and falling leaves. Go camping or some shit, be creative. Double x point multiplier if you combine this with item #10.

8. Plan and throw an awesome party. People tend to get a little lazy this time of year. The summer was so fun and exciting, day drinking, Sunday drinking, MIDWEEK BARBECUES! Now that it's not summer anymore and the sun sets early there isn't a whole lot to look forward to except an 0-16 Colts season and another 70 feet of snow. Even out here in LA, you can see it on everyone's face...I wish it was still July and the assistants were working summer hours. You know how to change that attitude? Throw a fucking bash. Invite 200 people on Facebook, spend over $100 on alcohol and decorations and hype it up for weeks in advance. If you are going to entertain just one time this year, go all in and make sure it's worthy of talk for the next 52 weeks.

7. Go to a hockey game. NHL games are fucking sweet, if you are in a town with an NHL franchise, check it out. I would suggest maybe coordinating this with some sort of party bus to and from the venue. If you have never spent time in Chicago you may not be familiar with party trolleys but I can assure you almost every major metro in the country has party busses that will drive you around for a few hours letting you get hammered and then giving you a ride home at the end of the night...safety first.

6. Haunted House. They are sweet, get a big group together you won't regret it. You can also go to an amusement park that does the whole Halloween theme. Roller coasters = awesome, Halloween = amazing. Haunted roller coasters with a bunch of scantily clad chicks in Katy Perry costumes revealing too much cleavage = for the fucking win.

5. Faux Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving is a badass holiday. Black Wednesday, the actual feast, even the door buster specials can have merit. What can be painful is spending a forced 72 hours with extended family and hoping for no one to have a meltdown...remove that element, add your best friends and an unlimited supply of booze sounds like a great thing to do a week before the actual holiday...also there is nothing more badass than grilling up a 20 pound bird.

4. Do a bar crawl. Unfortunately Beadquest and TBOX are months and months away...but this doesn't mean you can't organize your own sweet bar crawl. Local bars may be setting them up centered around Halloween, but those are always gay. What I reccommend is... find the person who planned your Senior Fraternity/Sorority bar crawl and make that shit happen again. Costumes are acceptable, tshirts are encouraged, blacking out before 4 pm is required.

3. Read a book. I know it sounds shitty but it's way better than throwing in a horseshoe and playing NHL 2012 all night. Plus you sound so much more intelligent/appealing to the opposite sex when you can intelligently talk about the millennium trilogy or point out on a date that the trailer for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is actually based on a book about the aftermath of 9/11. I'm looking out for you readers, always have a trendy novel on you at all times, you never know what kind of convo it will strike up.

2. Go home for the Holidays. Going home for the holidays is great, it means you're off work, reunited with your old gang and hijinks is sure to ensue. There is nothing more I look forward to than going to back to Broad Ripple in November and December and taking $50 cab rides to Geist at 4 in the morning after a 4000 calorie burrito.

1. Don't let the fun die. I really hated school until I was about 17. Thus I hated the fall, I resented that baseball season was over, that I had 3 hour soccer practices, followed by a 2 hour basketball practice and then that shifted to 4 hour football practices and I would never do my homework and I would have nightmares about telling my parents about my bad report card, but then I would wake up and realize I still had to get it signed before I left for school and OMG IT WAS FUCKING HELL.

...But then I turned 18 rose to social dominance and entered a scholastic program that didn't reward idiots who tried hard, but smart slackers (Marketing, no homework, common sense, still get to say SPEA to all those inferior folk) Fall is the shit. The weather is mild, Oktoberfest is by far the best of the seasonal beers, Football gives you reasons to drink on Sunday and Monday nights and you get to fill your social agenda with the previous 9 things. Hoodies, jeans, sweaters, vests, SWEATER VESTS, it's great. So just because the sun sets at 5 or pontoon season is over, don't you fret. Fortunately the bar hours don't vary by season and if you have a few more layers to peel off that person you bring home at the end of the night, it should just build that much more anticipation.