Rageaholics

Ok before I get into the meat of this post I want to draw an interesting parallel if you will. When you think of rageaholic, you probably think of someone who is always pushing the limit when it comes to partying. They aren't satisfied to just get shitfaced. You can very calmly work yourself into an alcoholic coma...I'm talking loud music, dancing, jumping, screaming...This is how generation Y defines raging. Going to a concert, not sitting in the pavilion seats, rather opting for the lawn where people are drinking out of flasks and openly passing joints...then going to a bar, a late night bar, an after hours house party, and then finally calling it a night at sunrise. Rage.

Now let's take a look at Wikipedia and how they define a rageaholic:
A rageaholic or "anger addict" is a person who gets excited by expressing rage, or a person prone to extreme anger with little or no provocation.

An anger addict...really? Go on...

While "rageaholic" is not a formal medical diagnosis, it has been developed as a lay psychology term by counselors and anger-management groups seeking to help people who are chronically angry and who compulsively express fits of rage. There are also 12-step programs for dealing with rageaholics, such as Rageaholics Anonymous in Los Angeles, CA.

Ohhh a 12 step program...you don't say? There also appears to be some triggers, things you can do to curb or avoid raging...let's take a look at a few.

Rageahol: When people start drinking rageahol, they are throwing figurative gasoline on the fire of their anger.
I will hitherto refer to alcohol as only rageahol for the infinite future.

Cursing: This is not a moral point. When people stop using profanity, they stop fanning the fire of their anger.
People that aren't cursing clearly haven't indulged in enough rageahol.

Hero stories: When people recount angry events with themselves as the hero, they get to re-feel those powerful angry feelings, fueling the addiction and seeming to justify those actions. It is important to take responsibility for the anger, not glorify it.
When I recall stories of maneuvering myself out of precarious situations based on my binge drinking I always identify as the protagonist, apparently this is a problem.

Other triggers are pointing, yelling, angry driving, throwing things...I always though those were signs of a good time, but apparently not if you are a rageaholic.

I guess what I'm trying to say...is if you are trying to figure out how to have a rocking good time on a Saturday night, read the wikipedia article for rageaholism and do the opposite, also replace anger with alcohol (or rageahol).

It also seems that pretty much any affliction to which you suffer could follow that same list of triggers. Like these 3 for example...
Score the anger: This is all about judging yourself 1-10 on how angry (fucked up) you are
Stop speaking: Because clearly you can't drink and talk simultaneously.
Walk away: I use this often at parties, in a boring conversation...get yourself a drink.

I'm sure I could bastardize that entire list of triggers, but this was supposed to be a simple comparison, not an indictment on my generation. Then again, I think we are less angry...I mean you always hear about these old guys beating their wives and kids...I think the worst that happens among guys now is calling their girlfriend a stupid whore when they get caught cheating. (This is deserved) But I think the threat of domestic violence has significantly been curbed by social media. A guy can't casually assault his family anymore because they could always tweet: Husband drunk and threatening to beat me #help

Technology, preventing redneck crime one day at a time.

BUT ANYWAY...enough of the ranting about how no one is angry anymore because they are drunkenly having fun (and you would think we would be an angry generation, with no jobs a shit economy, and a world where Angus T Jones makes $300,000 an episode for 2.5 Men)

Let's talk about a real Rageaholic...BANE.
Last night I was stringing up some gallows in my bedroom because I had failed to acquire tickets to Watch the Throne for a third consecutive night. All I wanted was to hear an entire hour of "Ni99as in Paris" but no...the fact that I had $12.17 in my bank account and that I have no friends with thug appeal in LA, I simply read some Steig Larsson and watched reruns of Gossip Girl (quite the Juxtaposition when I am complaining about no one to go to a rap show with me.)

The saving grace was when someone sent me the Prologue for the Dark Knight Rises which will be playing before MI IV Imax showings this Friday. What a boss...seriously, the scene is like a mixture between the end of Air Force One, the hallway scene in Inception, with a little bit of Goldfinger. It's one of those situations where if I was diagnosed with 6 months to live right now, I would tell the Dr. "motherfucker it better be 7" because I must see this movie. It is going to be everything that is good about movies...and I can totally get past Tom Hardy's bisexuality in a way that I can never get on board with Kevin Spacey again because if you are that much of a badass and you want to put your cock up butts...more power to you.

I would post the link for you, but it's already been pulled...I am part of an elite network of nerds that allows me illegal access to things like this...and although I'm sure no one wants to see Tom Cruise's latest homage to Scientology, the movie does have a 100 on RT still and at 7 minutes, the DKR prologue might be worth your $20.

Until then my friends...confront your rageaholic triggers...and enjoy yourself a pint or two of rageahol this evening and try not to take it out on your two turtle doves. (Get it, it's the 2nd day of Christmas...OMG like where did that come from)