Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Snap back to reality: Generation Z

It’s been quite some time since I have done some blogging. There are a variety of reasons for this.  One is I suppose I have been trying to write actual pilots and screenplays that might one day make me rich and famous. The second is the fact that when working 65-70 hours a week I barely have enough time to hit the gym a few times, black out thrice and get my requisite amount of masturbation in. Lastly, I haven’t had a whole lot to say lately.

Over the past 3 or 4 years of some incarnation of my blog or another the message has been pretty static. You should rage! Be an amoral frat legend, do drugs drink and have unprotected sex! Seize the day, you’re only young once! Growing up is for pussies! That was all exaggerated Tucker Maxian fun for a while but I’m sure the message wore thin over the long run. I think I basically wrote the same blog entry or some variation of it 1000 times just to remind you that live doesn’t end at 22 and there are other things to aspire to besides home ownership and an engagement ring.

My life is very different from yours, not necessarily better, but definitely different. While you wear a p coat to your high rise and read the Wall Street Journal, I wear a Chive shirt to Fox Studios and wait for my show to get cancelled. A Tuesday night for you may be cooking and watching the Biggest Loser with a significant other, I drink a magnum of Pinot Noir and try to find the voice of my generation.

There that’s it. No bragging, no ranting just an update of where my life stands in comparison with that of my contemporaries.

But I like you, notice things. Perhaps moreso than others because I fancy myself a writer. I try to capture stories and retell them in an interesting way. In keeping with my theme of stunting my eventual psychological development, I spent a fair amount of time going back to college after graduation, I go to Kilroy’s in Broad Ripple when I am back in Indianapolis. I still try to pick off coeds at Kincade’s on karaoke night. I thought there was probably not much different between an immature 25 year old and your standard run of the mill college Senior.

Boy was I wrong.

In the time that has passed since I graduated in 2009, 80’s rock and 90’s ironic boy band hits have been replaced by hard edm bangers and filthy drug glorified hip hop. The “cool girls” that is the attractive upper middle class white girls who joined top tier sororities at large state schools are no longer just having a few too many shots at the bar, they are popping ecstacy like fucking altoids on a Tuesday and going to the Mid in a bro tank. I used to be abhorred by girls that did drugs, it was almost more of a double standard than giving/receiving blowjobs. Now it seems it’s just the norm. Having a live band at a party used to be a thing, now it’s merely about how current your playlist of underground dubstep is. Remember the days of fighting over the iPod trying to decide whether to play Celine Dion or ‘N-Sync? Now you are trying to decide which 15 year old Swedish child prodigy dj to play.

It’s more, there is actually an app dedicated to sexting. Like are you kidding me? If you are a standard college kid now, you just sit on your iPhone 5 waiting on all your old slam pieces to send you their most scandalous nude pic. Maybe you throw them a courtesy boner once in a while, even if she screen shots it, whatever all dicks look the same. I can’t imagine an easier way to engineer a hook up. “Send me your tits, now send me a video of you fingering yourself, ok I’m hard come over so I can dump this load in you.  Oh you have leftover molly from last night? Bring that too, I have the new Skrillex EP.”

This is by no means an indictment of any of the above. I tolerate if not condone all of the actions. My last two pilots are heavily centered around electronic dance music (and drugs are very much an integral part of that culture) I’m planning a reality show around a concert tour and I for one would find it much easier to make it through the work week if I knew I was going to have a collage of Snap Chat tits waiting for me when I got home from work each night.

It’s just like…what’s next? Websites like Brobible and TFM have pushed the bro culture about as far as it can go. (Guys now coerce girls to write their letters on their boobs during rush and send them in to promote the frat. Like seriously, what do they get out of this, a handle of Karkov…actually more likely a gram of some controlled substance) I mean I remember leaving college thinking. This is it…we have pushed the limits beyond expectation. WE. FUCKING. RAGED. We were awesome, we had the biggest parties, took the most shots…and we’ve been completely and thoroughly outdone. Not even close an epic knockout punch against generation Y and morality in America. These days it’s not about how many shots you take but how may waters it takes you to rehydrate after you sweat your balls off during an especially intense trip.

I think I may be joined in my belief now that having kids is not a good idea, at least not for now. Not when girls are snap chatting pictures of them shoving bongs up their twat to stoner frat guy to turn him on. Maybe going celibate will be the next big thing, or a hard hipster phase. Because right now there is enough blow and mdma rolling around to blow the 80’s collective fucking mind.

It’s not even just LA, this is all going down at a small town near you. As a writer it’s all great for storytelling…this is a story that mass society does not want to hear, the epidemic of “rage” that is taking over America. But fuck it…I mean it looks fun?