I am kind of a big drinker, and so I always struggle to fit those happy hours into my Weight Watchers plan. A few years ago I created this spreadsheet, but now that we have changed to PointsPlus I have updated it with current values. The only thing that changed is that wine got a lot worse, relatively speaking. (And it used to be such a good deal!). I also found the numbers for chapagne interesting. Anyway, here are the results of my research:

Alcohol per WW point in different drinks

Please let me know in comments if you would like me to add any types or brands of liquor to this list

Perfect! That's like exactly what I was looking for. Let's click on the link shall we?

Whoa, nice Spreadsheet bro. This cat must have taken K201. Wait a second...that link looks like something that I recognize...yep, that's a umail. Only an IU bro would cut the bullshit and answer the questions that we really care about.

But let's do some quick analysis. I suppose the stat that we care about most is alcohol per point. I believe that is the bang for buck ratio. Bacardi 151 takes the win at .28 ounces of alcohol per point. That makes sense, that is fairly similar to drinking pure alcohol, for the person that wants to black out before the end of their first cocktail. In 2nd place, is champagne with .266 ounces of alcohol per point. So if you are trying to get fucked up and keep those washboard abs maybe it's time to hit up that all you can drink mimosa bar. Sadly the least effective way to stay skinny and drunk is full flavored beer at a pitiful .12 ounces per point, but then again I'm a fucking dude and I am no slave to your Weight Watchers fascist point system. I can do what I want.

Let's take at the blogs...I'm sure there are really sad pathetic posts by cat ladies that mourn the loss of their gallons of cookie dough fudge brownies, but I am more concerned about the alcohol connection. I found this one "Diary of a Chronic Quitter" that's kind of a catchy title. I wonder if it refers to weed. This particular post is called "drinking my points."

Does it make sense to drink your points?   Swiming in a sea of indecision about this.  Since December a co-worker of mine and I have been discussing getting together to get drunk at my house.  We are going to watch Storage Wars.  How grand is booze and Storage Wars I ask you?  

He kept putting it off.  He has his son every end of the week and sometimes his ex-wife takes him for the weekend.  Well tonight is the night.  I don't drink that often and this guy drinks even less than I do.  I really want to consume a fair amount of alcohol.  I want to sort of swim in it.  

But WOW the points for alcohol.  This makes sense.  Talk about pointless empty calories

I am going to do it anyway.  I have (another) coworker who is lifetime goal on WW.  She grinned and said: "Are you going to drink all your weekly points?"

"Yes." Me, with a shameful smile.

"Good girl.  That's what I do sometimes"

So pomegranate vodka here I come!

But there is that little voice in the back of my head thinking about weigh in on Sunday and wondering if it will be worth it to splurge.   It is like a little gnome in there.  He sits and kicks his feet against my brain matter.  I try to ignore him but he just keeps mumbling and kicking.  

I must say I applaud her commitment to intoxication. I have not gotten fucked up and watched storage wars, but I assume it's a lovely way to spend a Wednesday evening. Also I got the distinct feeling she wants to fuck her divorced coworker, but that's neither here nor there. What I choose to focus on is the torment she is going to suffer because of this decision. A fucking gnome kicking her in the brain? Really? I thought this was America, where anyone could get drunk with a coworker watching reality tv and not have to live in a puddle of guilt and unfulfilled dreams. So what if she puts on a pound this week, isn't overall happiness more important?

I have changed my mind on this topic completely.

I don't know if you guys have caught on to my little blog format here. But what I attempt to do when I take on a controversial topic like women's image issues, i tend to take a really douchey stand at first, but then through my ranting and analysis I teach myself a valuable lesson, and become a better person for it.

I have heard of lots of diets. Off the top of my head I can remember the Atkins thing in which bread was the enemy and that gave us the lettuce burgers. Now there is this meat only diet which is basically what I do already so that one gets a thumbs up. I have heard of diets where you are literally supposed to go masturbate if you have a urge to eat. Those people must work from home a lot I guess. But if there is one overarching theme about dieting, it makes people absolutely miserable. So fuck the diet.

Yes, my mind reversal is about body image. If you want to get fucked up and keep a body mass index that puts you in the "overweight" range. Go for it. I only have to worry about the physical appearance of 1 person in the entire planet, that is the female that I am fucking at the time. Everyone else, go get as fat as you want. Order desert get whole milk in your coffee, it's worse than constantly torturing yourself by drinking diet soda and fat free salads. I don't want to live in a world without free refills and extra-large. Fucking Bloomberg wants to do away with Big Gulps? He might as well do away with freedom.  Let the rolls flow, maybe keep a shirt on at the beach? Or don't, just don't bitch when people stare. I appreciate an effort to better one's self, but not at the expense of a positive outlook on life. Ya America is fat, but we conquered the world, so we earned it. Order yourself a baked Alaska. Ya it's $40 but you can afford it. In fact opulence used to be associated with wealth. The poor were skinny, not quite sure when that flipped now I think of fat people as lower class, but that all changes today. Some of the happiest people I know are fat, some of the best comedians are fat. Belushi, Farley you know why they died? Having too much fun. I doubt you'll find many dieters as jovial as they were.

So make it rain boys and girls, yes you want fries with that and remember splenda is for pussies. And if you happen to be the girl that I am currently involved with romantically and I start buying you lots of bottles of Cooks don't take it personally, I have fun popping the corks.