Friday, October 13, 2017

We'll Always Have Kilroy's


"We'll always have Paris."

It's one of the most famous film quotes of all time. Uttered by the protagonist Rick in the final scene of Casablanca to his former lover Ilsa, the quote represents a form of acceptance. Things will never be the same, we will never be together again but we will have the memory of a time and place we were happy together, and no one can take that away.

I've always been told I lack passion. I don't find that to be true, I just think I have a hard time discovering what I am passionate about. I like to write, I like to travel and I like to party. That's about it. I mean I enjoy other things, but I don't get bent out of shape the way a lot of people do about things going on in the world today. I don't spend every waking minute thinking about how Trump is destroying America, I don't go into a state of depression when one of my sports teams loses a big game. I'm more likely to pitch a fit if a party is cancelled, if someone bails on a trip or one of my favorite bars is closed.

"But aren't you sick of it?"

Sick of what? I always counter, but I know to what this person is referring: day drinking, shotgunning beers, making jokes about Four Loko, watching the sun rise and sleeping until noon.

When are you going to grow up? The party is over.

It's an interesting sentiment. This idea of adulthood is thrust upon us and we're supposed to trade in the bar stamps for farmer's markets; the late night Taco Bell runs for Yoga Class.

I get it. Some people are ready to move on from a sophomoric period in their lives known as 'their 20's.' The thought of laying on a couch all day Sunday watching Red Zone is possibly not appealing anymore to some of my contemporaries. That said, I'm probably not the best torch bearer for this topic because I could be used as a case of a Peter Pan who never left college mentally, but if you'll indulge me, I would like to make the case that the slow eradication of The Greek System is bad.

I woke up this morning to find out that Sigma Nu had been kicked off campus. A fraternity getting booted isn't particularly noteworthy. In the past 12 months alone long time Bloomington staples Tri Delt and Delta Tau Delta were summarily dismissed. My own fraternity was shown the door a couple years ago. What's interesting though is that Sigma Nu was always thought to be untouchable due to the fact that Herman B Wells, possibly the most influential man in the history of the university, was a brother at Sigma Nu.

And for what?

Hazing? Drinking?

Let me let you all in on a little secret. All college kids drink. They do not drink to get a little buzz, or loosen up socially, they drink to set records on BAC machines and see what kind of interesting place they can find to pass out. Perhaps that is indicative of a larger problem with our country writ large, but I assure you, destroying one of America's oldest social institutions will not solve this problem.

As for hazing allegations, sure fraternities haze. I did some push ups, had some trash thrown at me, it was generally unpleasant. But the biggest 'hazing' task I completed during my time at IU? Soberly driving drunk kids around. With the advent of Uber and Lyft this might not be as big of a deal anymore, but I assure you of the thousands of students that received sober rides when I was a pledge in 2005 I assure you, some would have gotten behind the wheel had it not been for this service. I legitimately feel comfortable saying that sober rides provided by pledges saved lives. As a pledge I was instructed to always make sure anyone I dropped off was safely in their building before leaving, this is something that taxis and ride shares are not required to do and it has been an issue that has led to tragedy recently in Bloomington.

And let's talk about sexual assault. Up to 1 in 5 women experience sexual harassment of some sort while in college, this number is absolutely staggering. I will concede that sexual assault has happened at fraternities in the past but I would also counter that according to The Campus Sexual Assault Survey conducted by the National Institute of Justice fewer that 40% of 'college rape' cases take place on campus AT ALL. So would shutting down fraternities and moving all non-Freshman into off campus housing solve this problem? I'm inclined to argue no.

It's strange to me that at 30, I'm still as passionate about the Greek system that I was while actually living in the house as an undergraduate student, but being in a fraternity had a profound effect on me, one that I would hope that future generations have the OPTION of experiencing.

I came from a fairly homogenous town of WASPy rich kids and I got the privilege of living with a wide variety of men: white, black, hispanic, Asian, gay, straight, Jewish, Muslim, Christian...this was all new to me. This was important to me and 10 years later, I have a lion's share of these relationships still active in my life and I wouldn't change any of it for the world.

And don't let my soap boxing get in the way of the reality of the situation. We also partied. A lot. There were boat parties I don't remember. There were formals in which I barely evaded arrest. There were a thousand memories in a shitty courtyard, surrounded by an even shittier house.

And of course, there was Kilroy's, my tender bar. Home of dollar shots, $10 bottles of Cooks and if Kevin or Josh were feeling generous 65 dollar bottles of Grey Goose.

I knew every Kilroy's employee by name, almost every patron too. It was the one place we would swallow our egos and just be friends despite our fraternal allegiances. I had a strong community of both Greeks and non-Greeks alike that would come to one place where we felt safe and could forget about the world and just live in the moment. You could dance on tables, cheers with strangers and you could find a girl on the dance floor and create a memory that would last into eternity.

Of course the night would typically end at Qdoba, face first in a burrito, or walking home with a co-ed imploring your Pizza Express delivery man to drive faster. Perhaps you would get home and find a couple friends still awake with just enough beers to go sit on the roof and talk until the sunrise.

Perhaps I have fallen victim to nostalgia, that I'm looking at the past through rose colored glasses, but I don't know a single man or woman from that period in my life who would have changed a thing. President McRobbie is trying to murder the Greek System, a lot of non-Greek journalists are going to help him and to be honest they'll probably succeed.

I understand why people hate certain politicians, I even understand why people hate the Yankees, but I'm not quite sure why so many people revile an institution that they were never personally affected by. As one of my friends said to me earlier today "Let these kids live." It appears though that this won't be the case.

The Greek system will likely die and with it communities like the one I established at some shitty dive bar at the corner of Kirkwood and Dunn. Kilroy's will survive of course, but it will never be the same.

The positive is that these memories and bonds we forged during a brief four year window in our lives will be forever. Nothing can change them or take them away. So as I tell you "We'll always have Kilroy's" please raise a Vegas Bomb with me and cheers to a bygone era.