Bar blogging?

I'm not usually the guy that hops on a computer at a bar and starts typing away whilst drinking...but since I've never had this oppurtunity...why the fuck not?

NOTE: This entry will have many grammatical errors because I have been drinking copiously tonight and I took a Xanax when I got home, however it should be entertaining. So let's have some fun shall we? I need to come up with some general thesis for this peice but I'm not going to stop typing until some general train of thought strikes me. I've been texting this girl all night and I think we might hook up later...ahhh perfect. Texting your way to love!

Many of you have seen the video on youtube or college humor or whatever other gdi multimedia you use to see "funny videos."

Let's turn the clock back about 9 years. My target audience was about 13 years old and everyone and their mother was on AOL, AIM or some other of the sort. I used it exclusively for 2 reasons, 1. try to convince girls my age in chat rooms to send me naked pics of themselves and 2. to say the things via the written word to girls I had a crush on that I was to much a coward to say in real life. What has changed over the past decade. Not a whole lot. Reference my previous entry the drunken late night "where are you" or "come over" is me throwing down my buried feelings in a t bomb that I would never say in person. And although I know it is almost guaranteed to fail, I go for it anyways. However, the sober texting...no fuck that blackberry messages that I send, have tended to get me somewhere.

Its like I'm in and gold during the chat....the problem arises when you actually see that person in REAL life. All of a sudden its like oh fuck, this is like the fourth time I have ever met you. I don't know how to act, or what to say. I can't hide behind calculated banter and subtle hints. I actually have to turn it on. So it goes terribly of course. But then you lose her for a bit. Albeit you are still in the same bar, but its crowded...so you wait until 2 am. Now you are both properly smashed and your inhibitions have been sent westward. "Where are you?"

...a response. I'm by the bathroom. Bar Close. You start walking out together. It is unsaid, but you both start walking back towards your apartment. The whole time your mind is racing, what the fuck is going to happen when we get back to my apartment? So like a seasoned veteran of Glenngary Glen Ross you assume the sale...walk up to your bedroom, hop in bed turn off the lights, throw on Definitely, Maybe on Demand and you start making out....

Bam!!!

97.3% of the time it works everytime...the morning could be a little awkward. I reccomend going to work early and leaving a note.