It's 2 AM and you have had enough alcohol to render a moderate sized puma unconscious. But you are just getting started. The past 4 hours your short term goals have been whoring shots from anyone and everyone and hoping that the table didn't collapse when you hopped on top to do the YMCA. But now it's 2 AM.
You fire up the BBM and immediately scroll down to some girl you subtly flirt with at work and have a very slight degree of unsaid sexual tension..."Where are you?" No response... 2:15 PING!!! Nothing... 2:30 "Come Over."
Finally...you get a response. "Hey, I didn't go out tonight, I'll see you at work tomorrow. (Oh yes, it is a work night by the way) At this point she has let you off the hook a bit. Chalking up your baffoonish advances as simply drunken jest. But you can't let it go..."F- that, come over, or are you banging some other dude! Come party!" Then you call her a barrage of names that rhyme with Bunt and Rock-chucker...needless to ay tomorrow will be a tad awkward at work. You are burning bridges faster than a WWII dictator.
Fortunately, the text assault is usually easy to shake. Although I do wish your emoticons (smileys) on bbm would mirror your drunken demeanor as proof to your victim how far down the gutter you had really tumbled. I digress, as there is more than one way to skin a mongoose, there are a multitude of ways to burn a bridge. Let's observe a couple of the more popular methods.
"The Pub face-sucking douchemonster"
OK, show of hands who hasn't pulled the classic PFSDM? This is when you are out with some friends and you are clearly going after a cutie that you have invested a little bit of time with. However, a your level of intoxication increases you become more distracted. Eventually you run into some ex-fling who is just as incoherent as yourself. You then start sucking at her face like you are trying to inhale her soul. Shortly thereafter you leave together...unfortunately your initial target for the evening is rarely impressed by this kind of behavior.
"The pass around guy"
As a bro, I have absolutely no problem with sharing and I think eskimo brother is one of the coolest pop culture terms in recent memory. Chicks, by rule, are not as cool. Similarly to sororities in college, groups of friends, or even worse roommates come with some of the same rules. The quickest way to ignite a flame is to attempt to secretly swing the roommate or the best friend and that shit collapses like the Berlin wall. You will most likely be black-listed from that entire crew and ruin a friendship in the process.
The best part about burning bridges though, is that there are plenty to cross, and usually the act of defiance becomes a great story. This is a giant city and there are plenty of people...some might call your shameful actions noble, we let forest fires burn don't we? It's just Darwinism.
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