Blacklisted

My blogging at work privileges have been stripped of me thanks to the faggoty new firewall at my work. So while other in my position would probably stop constantly surfing the web and reading NSFW blogs all day about the stupid bullshit that I actually care about (mainly movies and cats) and do some real work...uh fuck that.

I go to work for 3 reasons: Stare at my co-worker Jenna's tits, use the qtips in the bathroom (after googling porn on my blackberry during a 30 minute shit) and obtain an income as a front for my crystal meth dealing ring. How do you think that I afford this lavish lifestyle? Base plus commish? I sell smack to 12 year olds at Vernon Hills Middle School...that and my parents pay off my credit card. Go fuck yourself, you're just jealous, just like I'm jealous of people with cool jobs, private jets and female roommates that felatiate them daily. Basically I hate anyone that has a decided advantage over me and I kinda wish it was like comic books where I could defeat them and then obtain their power or their wealth and their stuff and their women...so ya. i.e. Taking out Travolta would give me Kelly Preston, a private plane and all of L Ron Hubbard's secrets...

So why am I laying on the couch at 730 writing a dumb blog about my unfulfilled fantasies while pressing the ignore button on my cellphone on a private number (read: creditor) I should be doing something relevant or at least trying to figure out a way to intoxicate myself so I forget how average my life really is...oh, hm...doorbell, cops, census people? Oh it's my crystal meth, gotta go!