Single Dude defines...Killin' It

I've had this blog for a few years now and I'm not the best at having any sort of continuity or recurring theme. Much of what I write is unjustified ranting that I try to squeeze in the genre of social satire, but truth be told I don't even do a very good job of staying within the lines of that. I guess I'm like a bro-y Andy Rooney, I just get on this thing and spit what's on my mind for 30 minutes and hope people like it, or at least read it and have an opinion. Even if your opinion is that I'm a self centered egomaniacal fuck face, I'm glad I've got you thinking, it's better than trying to reach that diner at the end of the sky in Dolphin Olympics 2. The shit you read here will not enlighten you, it is not going to get a bunch of reblogs or your friends might not email it to you on a bad day, this isn't Thought Catalog, but I am going to try to become a bit more consistent in my format, even if it is filth, it should be filth with a center thesis. This blog is life in the fast lane. It's not as snarky as Betches, it's not as over the top as Bros like This and it's not as commercial as TFM. This is me, my thoughts on us. Enjoy.

"Bro, fucking killed it last night."

Killed what, like went full Bateman and stabbed a homeless man? Did you perchance feed an ATM a stray cat, did you get charged fees on that my man?

What the fuck does it mean when someone says "killing it" these days. You hear it all the time anymore. This weekend was so sick, we killed it. Or come over man we're killing it.

I'm going to take a moment and try to whip out my 8th grade sentence diagraming skills. Let's take a look at that first sentence.

This weekend was so sick, we killed it.

Right off the bat, I can tell you that this is going to be fucking difficult. That's one of those sneaky compound sentences (not to be confused with a complex my non-AP class friends) A compound sentence contains to completes subjects and predicates (read noun and verb) In the first half of the sentence, the subject is WEEKEND. The predicate WAS. So is an adverb or some shit and sick is like a indirect modifier....oh fuck it. This isn't working. Let's try synonyms. We killed this weekend. We murdered this weekend. We assassinated this weekend.

So it's basically a phrase that people that rage use so you know how hard they raged. Saying this weekend was cool, WOULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW AWESOME IT WAS.

Now I get it, telling people you had a swell weekend is fairly vague. It's what you tell a co-worker after you fucked a hooker and paid her in meth and decide you don't wish to divulge that information. But telling people you killed it is approximately the opposite. It implies that you did a bunch of meth, punched a cop and had sex with a prostitute without even being charged.

Now there is nothing wrong with alluding to mischief, that's what this blog is all about, and I have nothing against people that like to use euphemisms to be succinct in how they choose to express themselves, but I'm calling the bluff. "Killin' it" no longer an acceptable response. You can use the phrase, but I won't nod as if I know that "killin it" is code for the fact that you burned your unemployment check on a gram and a new pair of jeans and then charged your meal at Boa to your Cal Advantage card (food stamps.) Shit, that's a Tuesday son, I need details.

This generation has become so obsessed with this ragey irresponsible lifestyle the whole art of communication has been lost. I have friends that run around and say nothing but "see ya" like they are a fucking Pokemon and don't know any other words. I'm fairly sure the people that throw this phrase "Killed it" they're kind of hung up on the phrase as a lifestyle. So what is the perception of the killing it lifestyle...I'll give it a go and see if you agree.

People that are "killing it" perceive that they are going 100% all the time. Things are going their way, they are doing just awesome things. Naked women, fast cars, drugs, alcohol...the elements of an R rated action movie, that's fucking us man. WE ARE ROCKSTARS. We go to bars and spend MONEY. Ya we're going to pay our rent a week late because of it but fuck our land lord, he's a dick. He made me uninstall the outdoor speaker and said the fog machine was a fire hazard, and he talks like a bitch, I don't have time for him, I'm going out tonight with my boys! We're finding some sluts, popping some bottles and STRAIGHT KILLING IT. Staying up absurdly late, playing music so loud that my ears literally start to bleed. Fuck the neighbors too, they're all fucking gay. I'm going to break something...WHY? So I can INSTAGRAM IT AND SHOW ALL MY FOLLOWERS HOW HARD I'M FUCKING KILLING IT! Oh fuck ya I invent shots, with weird names that are super gross and have like AMF levels of alcohol in them, PUT THE FUCKING SKRILLEX BACK ON.

Ok, that was starting to sound like a mixture between a blacked out me on steroids and...no that was just a blacked out me on steroids looking for a crack fix probably. But just keep in mind, next time you're at a concert and you see 2 little 16 year olds pop hits of acid, high five and scream "killing it" think, are they really? Or are they just celebrating their own mediocrity. Now I'm off to the pier to go have a swell evening.

Ya right, I'm fucking killin' it.