Is he even in the league anymore? Who knows, in other news last night I unlocked the "College" four square badge. I don't know if it can track my mannerisms and decided that based on the places I still go I am a college student, or if my pure awesomeness transferred through osmosis to the service and they decided to reward me with the honor. Regarless to say, I am humbled by the distinction.
HOLY FUCK...it is once again Friday afternoon and I am bouncing off the walls. It is St. Pattys day weekend and there is nothing like getting straight pissed Irish style for a 48 hour straight bender. I might go for the Gordie Howe hat trick this weekend...fight a gdi, wingman for a friend, and eventually score a goal of my own. SO what is the key to having an absolutely perfect St. Pattys day weekend you may ask? The good news for you is I am going to take 9 minutes of my time watching the new Lady Gaga music video.
And then I'll take 5 minutes and map out what to do this weekend. ***9 minutes passes***
Bam let's go! FIRST start off tonight. A lot of brohaters are going to "take it easy" tonight. The only thing that you should "take easy" are your interpretations of sevel public decency laws this weekend. After going to happy hour for 3 hours, it is time to go home and get thoroughly sauced. I might suggest 151, everclear, or blowfish fin sake...(don't ask on that last one)
After staying up until 4 in the morning and fighting a bouncer after getting kicked out of a byob strip club for pouring champagne somewhere that it doesn't belong, I reccomend going to a breakfast diner and carbo-loading. Then my next stop will probably be a 7/11 to buy an entire case of 5 hour energy. I am yet to determine whether or not multiple 5 hrs taken at once will compound upon each other or not. I suppose I will find out tonight if taking 50 will keep me energized for 48 hours.
...drunk tired sweaty bleeding...i don't care what kind of state you are in. Come 7am you best believe that I am taking a shot of Jameson, bonging a guiness, and bombing a car. (Not the popular drink, literally finding a random car and bombing it. The IRA would be proud.)
After racking up a handful of felonies before the time your Monday alarm usually goes off, it is time to get really serious. Meet up with your friends, go to a bar, dye your liquor green, whatever it is that you need to do in the AM do it. Talk with an Irish accent, wear obnoxious green pint glass sunglasses. You should then spend the next 12 hours acting like a McManus brother by drinking anything that you see, smoking a lot of cigarettes, and filling bad guys with lead. I would go on forever, but I literally am too excited and I can no longer type.
Happy St. Patty's Day.
P.s. It would be an acceptable action to call in sick Monday.
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