I hate the Cubs, mainly because they are the archnemesis of my beloved St. Louis Cardinals. I despise their players, their stupid hats, obese coach and whining media. They always suck, yet year after year their is a buzz around this city that THIS IS THE YEAR. No it is not. This is the year that you once again get anally assaulted by the Cards and the rest of the National League...but I must say, I love Wrigley field.
Wrigley field is a dilapadated hell hole plopped in the middle of an affluent neighborhood surrounded by bars that encourage debauchery. On any given Saturday you can find an all you can drink bar crawl somewhere amid Addison and Clark with a theme that encourages alcohol poisoning and partial nudity. Your typical Cubs fan is a spoiled North Shore brat who will trade in their daddy's box seats so they can sit in the bleachers and catch a drunken coma by the bottom of the 6th. It's the polar opposite of your Jersey Shore-esque Sox fan who will brag to his friends how many overtime shifts his dad picked up the past weekend.
The rooftops, similar to the bars that surround Wrigleyville offer packages to groups of 20somethings that can booze and eat on a highrise townhouse while wearing their $200 Mark Prior jersey without the knowledge that he now teaches high school gym in Aurora. The day game schedule is also conducive for the unemployed Wilmette fan who can hop the purple to the red, go to the game and then empty their trust at Manor later that evening.
I may be apathetic about baseball and the Cubs but I have a feeling I will be calling in sick a lot this Spring...and to all those hooligans and smoking hot NT chicks that will be joining me in the $15 SRO's...cheers.
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