Thanksgiving stuff-ing

My mom visited me in LA last week, and while I'm sure you want to hear all about our Mother/Son bonding I just wanted to throw this out as an excuse for why I didn't post anything. We did do some cool shit though, I've decided that the best way to explore your city is to have someone come visit you for an extended period of time. Think about all the stuff you never do in the city you live in because you are like, "eh, I'll go some other day" and you never go. Visitors bring this out in you, there is a ton of great stuff in Chicago that I never saw because I was content to go drink at Bull and Bear on a Saturday at 9 am instead of perhaps the Chicago architectural river cruise. But whatever, that's neither here nor there, come to LA I'll show you some cool shit. I'm V.I.P. at the Laugh Factory now because of work, I had front row tickets to Tosh on Thursday (big deal alert.)

This morning I woke up and thought, "Holy shit, it's Thanksgiving week. I have a flight to Chicago tomorrow. Nice." Now I felt those emotions for a variety of reasons.

Reason A. I still get a huge thrill out of flying. I am like that poor scholarship kid you flew to interviews with in college that had never been on a plane before. I don't know why, I hate driving, traffic and delays...all or some of these are always present at airports, but that is always overshadowed by the sense of looming adventure. Almost every good trip starts out at an airport (roadtrips exempt) Whether you are slamming drinks waiting for your flight to Vegas, reading about an Italian winery you are about to visit or just deciding what magazine you are going to read or what in flight movie you may have, all provide excitement. So ya, I'm that guy that talks to strangers at the airport bar, and foursquare checks in to make everyone jealous that I'm going somewhere, but it's not because I'm a pretentious dickhead, I'm just genuinely pumped to be going.

Reason B. Chicago, Indy, St. Louis, Bloomington, LA. Those are my next 7 days...it's going to be an epic bender.

Now in the past, I have written about how amazing black Wednesday is, and maybe it's overrated and maybe I have this morphed sense of how excited people will be to see me back in town. I'm prepared to field a ton of questions about L.A. and blah blah but there really is no better feeling than coming home. You need to leave to realize the little things that you take for granted. There will always be a minimum of 5 cartons of cottage cheese at my parents' house and probably a 4 pack of rockstar and if I can't find someone to go home with at 3 in the morning and I don't have $200 cash to cab it to Geist (slight exaggeration) my mom or brother will pick me up, now that's what home is to me.

So why is a week in the midwest so great in late November? Well it's not. It's probably going to be miserably cold, rain a lot and I'll be ready to come back ten minutes after arriving. That said, this is like the one week in late fall that people will man up, brave the elements and roll to a bar to get fucked up. Everyone you went to high school with will be there, some of them will be married now or want to talk about their kids which is disgusting...

Sidebar: I'm sure there are people my age right now trying to find a babysitter for Wednesday night, so they can "go out and party with the old gang." Listen to me. It's not the same, it was different after you got married, it's even weirder now that you have a kid. If you really want to somehow celebrate the night go out to a nice dinner and order a bottle of wine, I don't need you judging me because you overheard me ask my brother's friends if he has an extra Adderall I can eat. Being married early doesn't make you more adult or better than anyone else. /endrant

Where were we...ripping shots in Ripple and walking to Usual? Wonderful, sounds like an excellent night, and what's even better than all the scandalous hook-ups that go down on Wednesday it is the collective hangover everyone will feel Wednesday. Honestly, who thought to themselves...you know what this holiday about eating and drinking needs? A MASSIVE HANGOVER. It was probably some skinny bitch who was like we should all go out and rage the night before Thanksgiving so once we gorge ourselves with carbs and meat we can just puke that shit up and go to bed. Whatever, you will get no complaints from me...the only problem I have is that usually I have to get up and drive 4.5 hours on Thursday morning and my parents want to "talk to me" because they haven't seen me in a while. No thanks 'rents, back seat, shades and angry birds for me.

However, I am probably not going to St. Louis this year because of last minute changes. It looks as if I'll be in Indy the whole time, so if someone is short on their turkey bowl roster, hit me up.

After seeing probably 3 movies and spending way too much time at the bar in Brothers, Saturday will gloriously arrive and I will go down to IU for the bucket. I've done my fair share of tailgating this year, but nothing will ever compare to a nice game of handle toss in the fields or the jubilant walk to Kilroys after the game starts. I'm so fucking excited for that and 12 long islands and some buff chick dillas. I don't even know if I'll stay the night or weasel my way into a car heading back north, but I don't even care because it's going to be a celebration of epic proportions.

Great. I've worked myself up into such a frenzy, that I won't be able to sleep tonight. I have a xanax but if I take it, I may miss my shuttle and then I'll be sad and depressed. Cold weather be damned, I am excited to see family and friends and eat like a fucking king and drink like a recovering alcoholic for 6 days. And maybe if I get lucky Wednesday night, there will even be some Thanksgiving stuffing.