I have to imagine dying of an overdose is a pretty unremarkable thing. There isn't some crazy backstory to it, you're just fucked up, do one more line or shot or whatever before bed and then you die, alone. It might not have even been that crazy of a night, it's just the night your body decided to call it quits. Janis Joplin was at a shitty sports bar called Barney's the night she died. For perspective, Barney's is a gimmicky bar with foosball and air hockey next to a cool bar called Palihouse. When Palihouse rejects us, we go to Palihouse, have a few beers and play pop a shot. These nights are never very memorable, they are solid 5's. I'm sure Janis Joplin had many a crazy bender in her day. Benders that would be worthy of an overdose death. This was not one. I can't imagine having a shitty OD death. Dying would be bad enough, but dying after drinking at a crappy sports bar all night then shooting up heroin because no guys would meet up with you, it's just kinda pathetic. But all these stories become romanticized in crazy documentaries and magazine features, with detailed timelines and all the extenuating circumstances culminating in their demise, in all actuality, most people that overdose, just had a pretty shitty night that ended tragically.
Similarly, sometimes people get mad and push someone. The normative response to getting pushed is to tell the person to fuck off and push them back. But sometimes people stumble backwards and fall down a flight of stairs, or they bump their head on the wall just right and now Yeardley Love is dead and her ex boyfriend who was probably upset at the concept of her fucking another guy is going to jail probably for the rest of his life. It's not that this behavior is acceptable, you should be held accountable for the drunken mistakes you make, I'm just saying it's a fucked up gray area we live in, mistakes happen, people die, the human body is fragile…just ask Amanda Knox.
I have to say, I fucking love everything about this case. Amanda Knox is a hot white rich girl who loved to rage and had an equally voracious appetite for dick. Like any other upper middle class 21 year old looking for a semester off, she studied abroad in Italy and that's where our story begins. Our story of course ends with the tragic death of Meredith Kercher, and Amanda Knox's conviction, successful appeal and nor re-conviction. The case has turned into an international shit show about the merits of Italian law, worldwide extradition treaties and how America should or should not protect its citizens.
On the world playing field here are the players:
Italy: (The scene of the crime) Largely insignificant on the worldwide playground. Doesn't really have a stable government half the time, chose the wrong side in two world wars, is pretty to visit, has a fucked up criminal justice process. Unfortunately a bunch of shady Albanians that fuck with America hide in Italy, so we are always trying to extradite people from there to come face trial here.
UK: (Country of origin of the victim) Our BFF internationally, once owned us, we fucked them up, and now like a son who kicks his abusive father's ass and then reconciles we left the past in the past and now have a pretty strong relationship. Gives us great television and Kiera Knightley. Probably won't make an international incident out of it.
USA: (Country of the accused/guilty/innocent) In charge of the world, does whatever the fuck it wants. Could set the precedent that Americans will be held accountable for their actions abroad; won't.
Here's the thing, Italy knows that the U.S. has been policing the world, aiding Italy on a multitude of fronts, providing relief efforts and is generally looking out for the greater good and to seek an extradition on this case would really fuck with some political tension. I'm fairly certain that Italy is just going to say Amanda Knox is guilty of murder, if she ever steps foot outside Seattle she is FUCKED. It might not make the victim's family happy, but that's just the way it's going to be, because as stated above, the world is a fucked up gray area that we live in.
But what about the juicy middle, what happened to Amanda Knox that caused the death of Meredith Kercher? Well there was never a real motive presented. At the last minute, the prosecution said that Knox was a drug addicted booze hound who would bring home a random dude every knight and loudly fuck the shit out of him, Kercher would bitch about this in the morning. Everyone kind of agreed that one does not behave as an inconsiderate roommate and then murder the person that complains about said inconsiderate behavior. Especially when it is for a finite amount of time, study abroad programs end, and then everyone goes home.
The theory that was presented and abandoned early was that the death was some sort of drug addled psycho sexual fantasy gone awry. A violent 3some that you would see depicted at 4 in the morning on Cinemax. Some people choke each other out during sex, it is a thing. Not just a gag in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Teenagers choke each other out in basements in high school because its supposed to be a weird high, every year hundreds of people accidentally hang themselves during autoerotic asphyxiation.
But, it's a bit of a fucked up uncomfortable theory, so it was quickly abandoned. I don't know what happened in that bedroom, but I'm sure it was some sort of fucked up accident fueled by a lot of controlled substances and a string of bad decisions…
Then comes the cover up.
It makes you wonder, what would happen if when someone accidentally dies everyone just copped to it, would there be these long drawn out investigations or would it be called a sad accident. But when people are doing something wrong and someone dies, panic sets in, and when panic sets in a whole NEW string of increasingly bad decisions starts.
Quick, what would you do if you gave a girl molly tonight and she overdosed and died. If you're a normal person you would go to the police and tell them the truth and it would be horrible.
But your life as you know it would be over. You know that right?
I mean the victims life is ACTUALLY over, but your life would be pretty much ruined, things could never be the way they were, because of a freak accident. But people that think they have an outside shot of a way out, and are in a panic, will take that way out.
People that kill a bunch of kids in a DUI accident at .09 are not inherently monsters, they're just people that made bad decisions and had some bad luck.
If you think about it, we're all ticking grenades, every time you make a bad choice and get away with it it's a backwards positive reinforcement that there are no consequences for your choices…but when you constantly play with fire, sooner or later you're going to get burned.
So what bad decisions did Amanda Knox make that brought her here:
First of all, never start dating a foreigner abroad. It leads to nothing but trouble, and AIDS. People that go abroad, try not to immerse yourself too much in the culture, find a nice bro from a large state school that looks like he's had all his shots. Bro boyfriend would have steered you to the nearest club where a 4th tier rapper from the 90's was playing, not to go murder fuck your roommate.
Second, that new hair cut. I will say it now…no female in the history of the human race has ever improved their appearance with the chop. It looks horrifying. Jennifer Lawrence, Anne Hathaway…WHAT THE FUCK? You aren't going to make it look cool. No one will ever make short hair on females cool. Now I get it…4 days ago I had long hair. And it was annoying, it would take long to dry, I would have to do something to it in the morning if I showered in order not to look retarded…so I buzzed it off, because LOW MAINTENANCE. Then something crazy happened. A chick that I had seen a couple days before started blowing me up because she badly wanted to hook up. Like REALLY REALLY wanted it and then she saw me with the short hair and was like… "meh, why did you cut your hair? Gotta go byeeeeee."
So ladies, it goes both ways, I get it. Convenience > sexiness I'm also guilty of choosing unwisely.
No one will really ever know what happened in this case or a billion others like it, because unfortunately the victim is not here to tell the truth. Legal debates will continue about it for centuries but get pretty much nowhere. But if you try to be a good person and limit your mistakes you will have a much better chance of living to 40 without a felony conviction. So why doesn't everyone just go ahead and stay in and read a book tonight? K?
If you need me I'll be at Dada Life, rolling my balls off.
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