"I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is, I'm in love..."
These are the words of tiny Jojen Reed in the movie 'Love Actually' discussing that despite the fact that his mom just died, all he can think about is hooking up with the cute ethnically ambiguous girl in class.
This is kind of how I feel about the state of the country right now. I care. I really do. I care about health care and Russia and all that shit, but the truth is I just care about something else MORE than the state of our country...
The Friday night slot of Lollapalooza.
Yes, the biggest decision facing Millenials this year is not job related, it has nothing to do with wedding venue, it is completely apolitical. The largest choice awaiting you my friends is which end of Grant Park to stand on at 8 o clock on August 4th.
Hi, I'm Dave and I'm a huge fan of Blink 182.
I'm also Dave, and I ride for The Killers.
In the next couple thousand words or so we'll break down the pros and cons of each band and hopefully help you make a decision on which group to check out at Lolla...
...but honestly you'll probably be so gonged out of your mind by 8pm that you'll just want to go to the Perry's tent and look at a bunch of strobelights.
Focus Dave!
Sorry.
Ok let's start with the tale of the tape.
Blink 182
Origin: Poway, CA 1992
Genre: Pop Punk
Studio Albums: 7; 2 number ones
Top 10 Singles: 1 (US Alt: 14)
Fun Fact: I once went streaking at a Blink 182 show
The Killers
Origin: Las Vegas, NV 2001
Genre: Alternative Rock
Studio Albums: 4
Top 10 Singles: 1 (US Alt: 8)
Fun Fact: I beat When You Were Young on expert in Guitar Hero 2 at 100%
Ok, I'm going to start things off here by asking why exactly we are comparing these bands? Sure there is some overlap as they both play in the alternative space, but one of these is a 90's California punk band, while the other is more of a new wave act out of Vegas in the aughts.
Have you ever seen a white girl belt out the words to Mr. Brightside at a dive bar? Have you seen a 32 year old man scream 'WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP!" even though his parents had three children by the time they were his age?
Ok so what you're saying is we compare these bands because they both made music that was deeply important to upper middle class kids that were born in the 80's?
Yes.
Ok, I suppose that's fair. Go ahead and make your opening argument.
Thank you. I would like to open by saying that this is an absolutely indefensible failing by the Lollapalooza planning committee. How the fuck can you pit the two best rock bands of the past 20 years against each other. It's almost like the event planners wanted to upset the people that were in fraternities 10 years ago. Who gives a fuck about Arcade Fire? What is a Rae Sremmund. Are they the idiots that gave us those insufferable mannequin challenge videos?
First of all, calling Blink 182 and The Killers the two best rock bands of the last 20 years is...bold. Second, as much as it pains me to tell you this, Goldenvoice (or whoever promotes Lolla now) probably isn't concerned with the musical tastes of a 30something. In fact neither group has had a hit in 10 years, they're lucky to be getting headlining spots. Also: scheduling. Blink and The Killers didn't cancel their entire tours because some kid from California was visiting Chicago for the weekend.
How dare you disparage Blink and The Killers by insinuating they are washed up.
I didn't say...just make your case.
Fine. Hot Fuss is a perfect album and Blink 182 is only 2/3 of a band now that Tom left. 100% of The Killers is better than 66.6% of Blink 182. The current incarnation of Blink 182 is basically a Blink 182 cover band.
That's ridiculous. Tom was a cancer and ruined half of the prime of a great American band by being a diva.
Without Tom we never get Angels and Airwaves and Box Car Racer.
Oh whatever, +44 was better than both of those bands and Blink has ALWAYS been Mark's band. Your campaign built on tearing me down is going to fail just like Hilary's did. You have to make the case FOR your group not against mine. As such, this is why one should go see Blink 182 on Friday instead of the killers. Blink 182 has 7 albums and 24 singles as well as over 25 years of material. They have gone platinum 10 times. Along with Green Day, they were the sound of an entire generation. Songs like 'Dammit' came to be the anthems of adolescents. The Killers had a couple fun albums.
Oh ya? How many times did Blink 182 play on the OC?
Oh whatever, they played season 2. I forget is that when Marissa was going through her lesbian phase or when she shot Ryan's brother?
I think both of those happened season 2...
See you don't even remember. OC performance invalid.
Fine. While I will concede that Blink 182 has a longer history than The Killers, I would argue that The Killers are more prolific churning out 30 singles in just 4 albums and 16 years. That means they have a higher batting average than your beloved California punks, and I would reiterate that on all 30 of those singles you will hear THE ORIGINAL VOCALIST. Mark was just one of the two lead singers of Blink 182. Seeing Blink now would be like going to an Eagles show after the death of Gelnn Frey.
Whoa too soon man. And enough of this original lead singer garbage. Have you seen Journey lately? That little Filipino kid is arguably better than Steve Perry. Furthermore, what is your obsession with singles? Don't you appreciate a good deep cut? You know what song wasn't ever a single? RECKLESS ABANDON. That song fucks. Even your beloved Killers had Jenny was a Friend of Mine. Also not a single.
That is fair criticism. So let's throw out singles. I'm assuming that means we can throw out chart performance too?
Oh I see you want to conveniently slide past the fact that Blink has two number one albums and The Killers have precisely zero.
Hey you can't have it both ways. Singles are an exercise in mainstream popularity, one could argue commercial performance is as well.
Fine. We'll throw out sales, charts and awards.
Oh? You want to set aside The Killers' SEVEN Grammy nominations vs Blink 182's ONE?
They both have zero wins. Also awards are bought and paid for by labels, awards aren't very punk.
Well if we can't argue about sales, chart performance or awards...what is left?
Make your best 12 song set list...10 and a 2 song encore, that's probably about the length of a Lolla spot, right?
Easy. Hot Fuss...all 11 songs of it. And then When You Were Young.
That's bullshit. You can't use a gimmick. 'Killers play Hot Fuss' will grab headlines.
You're just jealous because Brandon Flowers is the most captivating front man in music and Mark is just an old man now.
Brandon Flowers is a Mormon and therefore not a rock star. I like my lead singers to drink alcohol and have premarital sex.
That's a low blow. But fine, if I can't just play Hot Fuss I'll do something like this...
1. Jenny was a Friend of Mine
2. Somebody Told Me
3. Read My Mind
4. Smile Like You Mean It
5. Glamorous Indie Rock and Roll
6. Human
7. Runaways
8. On Top
9. Spaceman
10. Mr. Brightside
Encore
11. When You Were Young
12. All These Things That I Have Done
Wow, I did get a little hard for those last 3. You started and ended very strong, but I think you were trying too hard in the middle. Lots of Day and Age. A non-single from Hot Fuss. You're all over the place.
You think you can do better?
What's My Age Again, Dick Lips, Untitled, Voyeur, Pathetic, Adam's Song, Peggy Sue, Wendy Clear, Carousel, All The Small Things, Mutt, Dammit, Man Overboard.
That is literally just the last 12 songs of their live album The Enema Strikes Back.
Nice, I was just testing you. Here we go.
1. Anthem
2. The Rock Show
3. What's My Age Again
4. Adam's Song
5. Stay Together for the Kids
6. All the Small Things
7. Man Overboard
8. First Date
9. I Miss You
10. Dammit
11. Feelin This
12. Reckless Abandon
That is strong. I mean nothing from the last two albums but strong.
Bask in it.
That was not an admission of failure, I just said that was a concert I would see.
So how are we going to determine a winner?
Well the hotter chicks will be at The Killers. We can agree on that right? The last time Blink had a real hit was 2004.
I concede that there will probably be hotter chicks at The Killers.
OK so that's a win for me, right?
Wait a second.
Wut?
So DJ Snake ALSO plays at 8:30 on Friday night. Right?
Right.
And Bieber begins his worldwide tour August 5th in Los Angeles. Right?
So you are suggesting that we go to the DJ Snake set on the off chance that Bieber comes out and does a couple songs IN CHICAGO on the eve of his world tour?
Ya.
Fuck ya, I'm in.
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