I know the bracket above is blurry as shit, so have no fear I will be posting all of the seeds below as well as some micro analysis on the first round match ups. If you would like to participate feel free to text me your thoughts and perchance I will take them into consideration while I arbitrarily pick all of the winners. ONTO THE MATCHUPS!
*Note the seeds are totally fucked up on the free bracket generator I used, so don't worry about them.
THE FUCKBOY BEHAVIOR REGION
1. Ghosting vs.
16. "I've been out of town"
Ah, the classic guy that stops responding vs the one that gives some lame excuse when you pressure him for answers. Should be an easy win for the one seed.
8. SEND NUDES vs.
9. I'm sick.
Interestingly enough, "I'm sick," Could be used as an excuse NOT to hang out with you, or to get you to send nudes. This should be an interesting battle, might even go to OT.
5. U up? vs.
12. Netflix and Chill?
In this 5/12 game we have the guy that doesn't want to fuck you until he's good and drunk vs the guy that wants to fuck you without spending a penny. Tough call! Could see an early round upset here.
4. My phone was dead all day vs.
13. I had friends in town
Two classic excuses squaring off early. I guess this comes down to whether you like your fuckboys pretending to ignore you because they are riddled with anxiety or they're still behaving like they are 22.
6. Breadcrumbing vs.
11. Negging
Ah yes, the guy that's totally not into you until maybe he is vs the guy that read that stupid book in college and likes to practice the techniques on lonely women. BONUS POINTS IF SHE JUST GOT DUMPED AND IS SUPER VULNERABLE.
3. Splitting the check vs.
14. Proclaiming to be a feminist
The selection committee must have had a sense of humor on this one because this is exactly the type of rationale a 'male feminist' would use when splitting the check.
7. Benching vs.
10. Zombieing
Which is worse, a guy that keeps you around in case his top hook up falls apart, or a guy that doesn't text you for six months and then hits you up out of the blue like nothing fucking happened. I can feel half of your heart rates starting to race, I'm sorry.
2. Cushioning vs.
15. Love Bombing
Cushioning is of course scouting for future prospects while you feel a relationship falling apart to soften the blow when it comes. Love Bombing is going WAY over the top early in a relationship only to not care and make the woman feel totes insecure. Men are awful LOL.
THE FUCKBOY LIFESTYLE REGION
1. "Entrepreneur" vs.
16. Trust Funds
I'm an 'entrepreneur' usually means I have a 'trust fund.' Tough seeding for trust fund, but understandable because they are dope.
8. The slow fade vs.
9. The University of Southern California
Honestly if you combined the two you may be looking at a Final Four team.
5. Chuck Bass vs.
12. Drake
The biggest fictional fuckboy vs. the biggest real one.
4. Cocaine vs.
13. Entourage
Two powerhouse programs with a storied tradition of fuckboying, Entourage and cocaine both had down seasons, but you can never count either of them out.
6. Fraternities vs.
11. Working in Finance
At an 11 seed, working in Finance could be a Cinderella pick to make a run, but a tough draw going against the entire Greek system in the first round, even if with a whirlwind of controversy in the current political climate frats are weaker than ever.
3. Music Festivals
14. Cuffed Jeans
UPSET SPECIAL!! Cuffed Jeans makes their first appearance in FUCKBOY MADNESS against the rapidly declining 'Music Festivals' who are likely overseeded due to past reputation alone. If you're looking to impress your friends with a major dark horse, ride the cuffed jeans far.
7. Facial Hair vs.
10. Scott Disick
Facial hair is the type of mid-major you have to love, especially drawing a team like Scott Disick who had to run the table in the 'reality star fuckboy' conference tournament even to get in.
2. Murray Hill vs.
15. Pastels
Pastels made a solid run in 2010, almost winning the whole tourney before getting knocked out by MDMA but I don't expect the magic to hold in 2018. Despite the rise of Brooklyn, Murray Hill is still a storied program with lots of Tournament experience, wouldn't be surprised to see them take it all the way.
Did your team get snubbed? Do you have hot takes going into the first weekend? I want to hear from you! Enjoy the games and remember TRUtv is 246 on DirecTV.
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