The Ski Trip

One of the worst parts of graduating college was the dissolution of the institution of Spring Break. There are no longer seven dedicated days near the end of spring term dedicated to flying somewhere tropical on your parents' dime and being full fledged black out before noon for a week straight.

Or so we thought...

Scan any millenial's profile and you will see multiple photo albums that make reference to 'adult spring break.' Adult spring break is not a new phenomenon. There are pictures of my parents on European trips with their friends in the early 80's. It just seems that generation wasn't infected with a heavy Peter Pan Syndrome so they simply referred to it as 'vacation.'

An ASB could be a bachelor/bachelorette party, a destination wedding, or even a couple's getaway. The barrier to entry is very low. I've seen people go to Palm Springs for the weekend and deem it 'Adult Spring Break' but this is akin to the poor kid who came back to school after a week off and raved about the fact that his parents took him to a Cincinnati Reds game. (I always felt terrible for the kids who didn't have kick ass stories returning from spring/summer vacation)

Most often though the Adult Spring Break consists of a mixed group of friends renting a large property together and doing some sort of activity, the most popular of which is the ski trip.

The ski trip is ideal because it masquerades as an activity for adults, while simultaneously being a sneaky location to drink copious amounts of alcohol. It also brings into play a white collar sport that is indicative of skill, money and overall radness. By telling someone you ski or board you are telling them you have the resources and skills necessary to do so and also that you have an affinity for physical fitness and the outdoors. It further infomrs them that you probably didn't grow up on the wrong side of the tracks, because lift tickets are expensive yo.

This is why white people love the Winter Olympics.

Alas, while waiting for my flight to Park City, I put up a list of the top 10 activities to do on a ski trip. If you're hitting the slopes this weekend, I suggest you use this as a check list.

10. Shot Ski

A shot ski is a party gimmick where any number of shot glasses are fixed to an old alpine ski. The idea is that all of the shot glasses are filled with a certain type of liquor and your entire group takes a shot all at once. I have never used a shot ski in my real life, but I have always taken one when on a ski trip because it just feels right. Also it makes for an excellent boomerang.

9. Staying up late playing games

One of the coolest parts about a ski trip is that no one has to go home at the end of the night. You are all confined to your cabin which makes every night feel kind of like a church youth group lock-in only with a shit load of booze. There is nothing better than a 2am session of Cards Against Humanity or making up some sort of insane drinking game even though you have been hitting the bottle for 12 hours and know you have to be up in four hours to hit the slopes.

8. Fire pits

A shot ski and staying up late playing games with friends are not things that need to occur in freezing temperatures and neither is sitting around a fire pit. I'm actually embarrassed I don't own one. Has anyone ever had a bad time siting in front of a fire? I mean sure, playing an acoustic guitar and singing Wonderwall with the group sounds super lame when you are of sober mind. But after 10 or 11 beers? It just feels right.

7. The lunch beer

There's one in every group. The guy that says at 10:55am that he's about ready for some lunch. Don't be fooled, it is not a chili bread bowl this person is craving. What they are really saying is that they are ready for their first pitcher of the day. And why not? You're on vacation right? Nay! Adult Spring Break! On not-adult spring break, you were already ripping adderall by this hour. The 11 am pitchers turn into the hourly trip to the beer yurt and by 2pm you are ready for the double blacks or to just quit the whole facade and go to a bar.

6. The gondola shot

Usually but not always following the lunch beer is the gondola shot. You've had either a flask or several shooters burning a hole in your coat all day, and now that you've eased into the day with a hoppy ipa at altitude, it's time to start hammering that flask, hard. There's nothing better than passing that bad boy around the gondola while you marvel at the technology that takes you high above the clouds in a matter of minutes. There is nothing more sad than when that flask is empty.

5. The flight there

Flights home are les mis. Just like the flight/drive home from sb was awful. But the trip there? Exhilarating, full of intrigue and possibility. Will we run into Shaun White on the mountain? Will we meet a bachelorette party out at the bars? Will I break my leg in three places attempting an ill fated halfpipe trick? From the beverage before take off, to flushing all of your unexpired drink tickets on the plane. Sometimes it's all about the journey.

4. The mountain town dive bars

Every major mountain town has that fateful dive that sometimes can get a little too clubby for its own good. Who wants to see a bunch of former sorority girls in North Faces trying to dance to Offset? Actually, I do. And I want to take a free god damn shuttle from my cabin to said dive bar and I want to be carried out when the bar closes disappointingly early at like 1230am.

3. The hot tub

One of my biggest regrets from childhood is not pressuring my parents to get a hot tub. My second biggest regrets is not living in the fraternity when my friends had one in their room. Sure it sounds trashy but in my entire life I have not had a bad time enjoying an adult beverage from the comfort of 103 degree waters. Is it even better when the outside temperature is 22 degrees? Of course it is? And is there anything more thrilling than jumping out of the hot tub, into the pool and then back into the hot tub? No, there isn't.

2. Skiing

It's kind of the whole point of the trip, duh. And I actually really, really enjoy skiing. It's one of the few things in the world in which I am half way decent. I also love the spike of adrenaline I get from knowing I could be one mistake away from dying at any point. (Especially after the lunch beers and the gondola shots) The high of survival at the end of the day always gets me super fired up for...

1. Apres Ski

Was it ever in doubt? Popping the skis off, awkwardly walking to an outdoor bar and setting up shop under a umbrella heater for the next 2-3 hours? Some have foosball, some have bags. They all have live music and there is no better venue for recapping the day than at a long wooden table with your ten closest friends in the world. Hell, it feels like being in the fraternity dining room all over again. I always shed half a tear when someone tells us it's time to leave, but the blow is always softened a bit by our next destination, the hot tub.

Be safe out there young shredders, may powder and adventure await you.