Shattered Glass is a great movie. I implore anyone remotely interested in journalism to check it out. And yes, it does star Hollywood's biggest pussy, Hayden Christensen, (also Canadian and my god did you see him in the trailer for that shitty BET movie Takers, it's a fucking joke. And yes I realize if this was a legit blog I would link you to the IMDB page for this movie and the Takers trailer, but that would require effort) but seriously Annakin fucking kills it in that movie, rent it now.
Let me tell you what kinds of shattered glass isn't tight, that of my passenger side window this morning! LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THREE TIMES IN ONE YEAR AHHHH!!! I LIKE ON THE SAME STREET AS JOE PERILLO THERE SHOULD BE NO HOMEYS FUCKING WITH MY CAR. I seriously think they do it either for sport or they see a couple dimes in my change tray and the 20 cents is really worth it to them to smash my window. It sucks driving to work sitting on shards of glass with snow whipping you in the face in mid February with the temps in the low 20's. I'm seriously considering destroying my car, claiming the insurance, using that money to buy automatic weapons and going on a murderous rampage on the pile of rubble that used to be Cabrini Green, I know there are crackheads still lingering. Non-terrorist disclaimer: That was a joke, this is a humor blog.
...but in all seriousness if I got a car alarm and rigged it to explosives that would detonate if at any time my Windows were broken (I realize this could turn out badly for me if I were to get in a car accident.) Would that be illegal? I think it would be worth all 10 grand to see that burnt corpse and tsk him for breaking my window to grab an empty pack of Camel Crush. I did my random acts of violence in the day but throwing a sprite can at a mailbox is much more jovial than attacking my only tangible asset.
Maybe this is the karma gods punishing me for more or less running a blog that is long motivational speech for everyone to go out and get fucked up as often as me. I encourage people on this site to do things that may have poor long term effects on their body down the road. When in fact I am a major hypocrite, I snuck out of a pregame Saturday night because I wasn't feeling well and went home and to sleep....at like 11:30. Some may give me a pass since I was up drinking until 9am the night/day before, but I feel like I let you all down. I even tried to make up for it Sunday by drinking until 1 in the morning. Ugh and now all I have to look forward to for the next 4 days is people telling me they don't go out on work nights...well only 96 more hours til Friday.
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