The worst part about moving to a city and being the new guy is that you have like 5 friends tops. When those 5 people are busy you're fucked, and if it is the Wednesday before payday you can't even treat yourself to a nice steak on the grill or an arthouse movie or even drinks with someone from your absolute d-list of people that you could possibly hang out with. Add that to a shitty internet connection and lack of television, you find yourself in quite the predicament. Whatever, I'll work late, I'll kick it in Westwood until like 8 o clock, go home attempt to watch something on Hulu, write a short and go to bed. It sounds like a reasonable plan. There is just one hiccup...the homeless people.
The homeless people in Westwood get a little aggressive as the day wears on, they successfully raise about 6 bucks by 5pm and that's enough for some hooch that makes them a little rowdy. That and they have begun to recognize me since I walk by their shopping cart and benches every day. At first, I didn't have any change, then it was fake phone calls, but now the level of anxiety that I experience from walking within 20 meters of these folk is so extreme that I've had to change my routes. I will find myself walking 4 blocks so I don't have to walk by the banjo man, or the coughing guy or wheels who will literally chase after me and ask me why I won't buy him a cheeseburger.
So here is my idea for the ap. It's an iPhone game thats kind of like Frogger or Pac Man, basically the character is a guy who is running from these people and if they catch him you lose. He could be armed with things like empty Burger King wrappers or 40's to throw in different directions to distract his angry pursuers...I'm not really sure what the goal of the game is, maybe make it across campus to the Trader Joe's and get back to your car with at least one bottle of 2 buck Chuck...I realize I am going straight to hell for these terrible tirades, but I would rather give my spare change to a starving actor before some guy who prays on white people that are afraid of him for nickels and dimes.
It is interesting though to look at these people and think what went wrong...mental illness? Most likely. Ex-military? I hope our government would take better care of its veterans. Ex-cons who can't get a job? Possibly. Guys that were bro's 40 years ago and alienated everyone that ever cared about them, destroyed their lives with booze and now are mumbling to themselves about the glory days? God I hope not...
Anyway, long story short. I need a TV and more people to hang out with immediately. But first, off to Trader Joe's...at least if you read a script and drink a bottle of wine your night sounds cool.
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