Season Finale

Today is the last official day of summer, tomorrow there will be exactly 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark and if you are 9 years old you can balance an egg upside down. Sometimes times like these are a good time to reflect. For example, I myself have had a roller coaster 3 months. I got to deal with being dismissed by my old job pretty much balling all summer on my severance checks, moving back home and moving to LA. I went from August 1st, to last week without actually having my own place (literally my parents got rid of my old bedroom, it was either sleep in the ferret's cave in the basement or find somewhere in Broad Ripple to sleep/live) I guess the word that would best describe my summer is chaotic.

But what a fucking summer, right? We killed Bin Laden's ass, Chicago had 2 Lollapaloozas (I'm counting the caravan, not North Coast) and we took 235 shots of whiskey on Independence day...well done everyone, well fucking done. As we move into fall and closer to seasonal depression there will be a few highlights: football, tailgates, road trips, Halloween, homecoming and new episodes of Gossip Girl but the pure ecstasy of warm weather and swimsuits is gone. If you are in Chicago, you are probably done with Castaways for the summer. Maslanka is probably dry docking his boat pretty soon, and you can feel free to go hang out in the front yard of Burling because Jake will probably start wearing shirts again. While these are all quasi upsetting issues, whenever there is a season finale, there is a season premiere.

Hoodies, bonfires, barbeques, carving pumpkins, jeans. Fall is bad ass. It is constantly the most underrated season. I think that is ingrained in our minds because we had to go back to school and until college that blows donkey dick. And yes, unlike spring the weather slowly deteriorates into winter instead of ramping up into summer, but there is still plenty of fun to have in 2011. In fact I am ready to argue that the only thing wrong with the weather cooling off is females will trade in their low cut tops and short shorts for baggy sweaters and uggs a crime that they will all overcompensate for when they dress like massive skanks the 3 nights you celebrate Halloween.

Long story short: you have a lot to look forward to the next 3 months, autumn is the tits, and ya it will cool down a bit but now you can walk places without worrying about how sweaty you will get, you can rock the sweater/shorts outfit and toss a football around on a Sunday while drinking some Oktoberfest, win!

But that said, this post was called season finale, not season premiere...something dramatic and awesome usually comes at the end of a tv season, a cliffhanger, a death, two people that you have been waiting for to do it all season finally get it on...well this site is social satire not a narrative, so I can't give that to you, but you write your own story. Go out tonight, the last night of summer and make a memory make a mistake, fuck it go to Joe's on Weed and bring home a latina fireball or if you are in LA go to Westwood and bring home a Freshman from Maloney's. If you are one of my female readers call that guy you know has a crush on you and see if he wants to grab a drink. Be spontaneous, go crazy, because tomorrow morning when you wake up you can kick them out of bed and say sorry bro, it was just a summer fling.