Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A million dollars isn't cool

You know what is? Not fucking talking about your next get rich quick scheme all the time. One of the worst things about talking to humans is that everyone thinks they are always one idea away from a life of luxury on a yacht pouring champagne on some beautiful babe who is the perfect mix of white and exoticness (I'm assuming this would be someone who is like 50% German, 25% Brazilian, 25% Persian...and no I can't imagine what would have to happen for that crazy ethnic orgy to go down. It was probably like an ex-nazi flew to Brazil to hide from war crimes and met a Jewish Brazilian and they fell in love, whatever, this is my blog)

I suppose it's true. You are always one thought away from the next big idea, and there are probably millions of visionaries out there who didn't chase their dreams because some cynic like me said "that will never fucking work, you are retarded." And clearly I have nothing against people who make their money by lucking into it and putting forth no effort, I applaud trust fund babies and those who marry up. That said, I think most of the assholes that run around talking about the next big thing think that all you have to do is come up with an idea, tell some vc guy about it and he writes you a check for your intellectual property and you live happily ever after.

Out here it's not about the next stupid as seen on tv invention, it's about the next show or the next script. I always talk about how great it would be to be a studio exec, but it must be so exhausting listening to these assholes pitch their bullshit ideas all day, "It's like Airbud, but it's a ferret and he plays competitive squash, I think we have a 7 film franchise here." The worst though is the people who talk about all their crazy ideas and never do it. Like me. I am not a writer, I will be a writer when I sell something. I am an outside sales person for a media company who happens to blog in his free time. You are not an actor, you are a waitress, you can call yourself an actor when you have an agent. You can say you work at an agency when you are an agent, you can call yourself a manager when you have clients. Fucking assistants drive me nuts. I guess if I can encapsulate in one sentence, stop fucking talking about it and do. I'm just as guilty as the rest, but at the bar don't go on and on about some pilot idea your old frat brother used to have, sit down for 2 hours and fucking write it and send to me and I'll tell you if it sucks or not. Because those who can do, and those who talk about their great ideas and then get drunk on a Tuesday and do nothing about it...well they wake up with a hangover and my spite.

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