Dress accordingly.
I have a full week before I head toward the desert. Like so many poor people before me, I realized I could save a couple hundred bucks going on the second weekend. It will also give me 7 days to find some sort of device that renders my phone UNLOSABLE! I'm considering a work out style armband. Or maybe just fusing it to a brick that weighs like 40 pounds.
Oh fuck it, who am I kidding? I'm going to lose my phone again. I should just build that $250 into the budget. Add a new line item right in between acid and DMT. Sunk costs.
A few weeks ago, I did a post called 'Should you go to Coachella?" Since the answer was obviously yes, now I'm going to do a music guide based entirely on my experience with these artists, if it worked for me it should work for you. Let's dive in.
Jack U
What is it: EDM
Should I go? Yes
Why…
Jack U is Skrillex and Diplo. I have probably seen them both individually 30 times. The most recent time was in Lake Tahoe. The show was dope and then I woke up in a hot tub. A hot tub is a phenomenal place to come out of a black out. A hot tub is just a great place to be in general. We should all make an effort to spend more time in hot tubs. Also there is a 99% chance they will bring out the god Justin Bieber.
Major Lazer
What is it: EDM
Should I go? Yes
Why…
Diplo, again!!! Last time I was at a Major Lazer concert this is what happened. I took a train from Culver City to USC and drank an entire liter of Jack Daniel's Honey. I then asked permission and was granted by the USC alumni association to throw an ice luge down a flight of stairs. Shortly thereafter I took a city bus to a Popeye's chicken. From there I walked to LA Center Studios for a Major Lazer concert. There was an open bar, it was also 95 degrees out. I kept trying to dance with girls but they would rebuke me on account of sweat.
When the heat rose to 98 degrees, I stopped sweating. This is a sign of heat stroke, but girls no longer refused to dance with me. Moral of the story. No half measures, either stay cool or push yourself to the limit.
Matt and Kim
What is it: Electro pop
Should I go? Fuck Yes
Why…
I am not a music blogger. I could barely be considered a travel blogger. Similar to Tyrion, I drink and know things. But after a Matt and Kim concert I felt obligated to write about how awesome it was. I went on a Monday night and had two beers, and still managed to have more fun than I have at almost any show. Matt and Kim music will increase your vertical by 2 inches on account of you jumping up and down like a pogo stick all night.
If you see one act at Coachella, go to Matt and Kim.
Flume
What is it: EDM
Should I go? No
Why…
Last time I saw Flume I was on vacation with a couple drug dealers. Do not vacation with drug dealers. I was bedridden for a week watching the movie Divergent on repeat. Anyway, I saw Flume at midnight 2014/2015 and had to be carried back to my ski cabin. We had major New Year's plans of drinking mimosas and watching college football/winter classic all day.
That did not come to pass. Instead I laid on the floor all day as people brought me water and pieces of bread. That was the 2nd time in my life I experienced symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. This past year I saw WhatSoNot at midnight at the same venue, same festival and experienced the same symptoms on January 1st.
WhatSoNot is a member of Flume. Coincidence? I think not. Go see Sia or Miike Snow instead. It seems safer.
A$AP Rocky
What is it: Rap
Should I go? Yes
Why…
One time I went out with one of my black friends in LA. We were out at a bar having a decent time. Per usual, when I am uncomfortable, I drank a lot. Then the song 'Wild for the Night' came on and I knew all the words. I rapped them loudly. And then I started dancing like a mad man.
The black people were very impressed and they accepted me based on my impressive A$AP knowledge.
If you too want to ever be accepted by a group that is a little different than you, you should go to this show. Also 'Fuckin problems' is one of the best songs ever and leaves the door open for Kendrick and Drake to stop by.
Run the Jewels
What is it: EDM/Rap/Trap
Should I go? Yes
Why…
Run the Jewels has an album called 'Meow the Jewels' where they take all of their biggest songs and replace all of the words with 'meow.' If that doesn't appeal to you, I cannot help you.
Disclosure
What is it: EDM
Should I go? Naw
Why…
I went to a Disclosure show once and it sucked. Only one of them showed up. They played that Sam Smith song and it's not even really fun anymore. Also one of the guys I was with sat in dog shit. There is no coming back from that.
Zhu/RL Grime/Purity Ring
What is it: EDM/EDM/Electro Pop
Should I go? Uh, sure?
Why…
I have seen all three of these acts and remember nothing. Sources close to me tell me that we had fun though. So take that for what it's worth.
Zedd
What is it: Let's be honest…Pop
Should I go? Ya, why not?
Why…
I saw Zedd at the Aragon ballroom and there was severe substance abuse involved. I fit 4 of my friends in a hotel room with one Queen sized bed and then we had an after party with 10 chicks. I am nostalgic for this kind of irresponsibility.
The next day, my roommate went to O'Hare and brought the wrong wallet, so I had to brave an epic hangover to drive to Rosemont at 9 o clock in the morning. I was so dejected afterward that I just decided to continue to Milwaukee. Nothing some beer and cheese can't fix.
Guns N Roses
What is it: Classic Rock
Should I go: Definitely
Why…
I have never been to a GnR show but I went to ACDC last year and they seem GNR-adjacent.
My friend Kevin and I played the Thunderstruck drinking game while the band played Thunderstruck.
That was cool.
Calvin Harris
What is it: EDM
Should I go: I guess
Why…
Two years ago Calvin Harris had the exact same slot, Sunday night closer. I was so dead that my friends Nick and Meg would carry me stage to stage and then lay me on the ground to sleep. When Calvin was on his closer a raver girl tripped over me, waking me up. I stood up, she profusely apologized and then said "hey, you're kinda cute, do you believe in fate?"
I shrugged my shoulders and then we proceeded to make out for the last song. If that isn't a Coachella meet cute, I don't know what is.
This will be my last Coachella, it may be yours too. As always, make it count!
No comments:
Post a Comment