The Water Bottle Part 2: The Suspects

No one ever took Dave seriously. He would roll into work in a t shirt and shorts, typically with Rainbow Sandals, a clear OSHA violation. He didn't really care. For whatever reason no one else seemed to either. He would sit there with his hair in a mess and spend the day commuting to the kitchen and back, writing his own scrips and occasionally flirting with the accounting girls. He must have an important dad or something.

But now, at this very moment, it was looking like Dave might be the key to finding David's water bottle.

"Who was here on Monday?"

The details of Dave's origin story were murky. He had showed up around episode 6, David didn't know a lot about him other than he also lived in Venice. They had once waited for carry-out together at Mao's, a Chinese establishment off of Pacific. He thought he had heard Dave say that he was from Indiana. Did David know anyone that went there? Maybe. Maybe Purdue.

He couldn't remember much of what they had talked about. Coachella, they discussed Coachella. Maybe Dave mentioned he also wanted to be a writer.

In reality Dave had taken this job in a pinch after he had gone on a month long vacation through Europe and then spent his last dollar at a wedding in Bloomington. He had expected to work on Rosewood for a couple days before starting as a writer's assistant on another show that had been cancelled before he could start.

His 'couple of days' had turned into six months.

"Harmony's kid was here on Monday."

Harmony was the post production coordinator and she had a 6 year old first grader. LA schools had been out the previous week for Spring Break but that Spring Break had inexplicably spilled into the next Monday causing a child care problem for lots of working adults. Harmony had brought her daughter to work with her and set her up in an unoccupied office…of the third floor.

"So you think Harmony's child stole my water bottle?"

"I dunno man, stealing a water bottle seems fairly inconsiderate and kids are dicks."

The burn out surfer bro had a point. Children ARE dicks. That said, one could not go accusing children of misdemeanors and David didn't have much of a relationship with Harmony in the first place. He decided to do what any self conscious 32 year old would do; make a passive aggressive sign.

Someone "borrowed" my water bottle from the writer's kitchen on the 3rd floor this past Monday.

It has sentimental value to me. It'd really like it back.

I won't ask questions, just please return it.

Sincerely, David (Writer's Assistant)

Pleased with his snarky tone and obviously unaware of his horrible grammatical error, David printed dozens of these signs. He posted them all over the third floor, second floor, hell he even took a few to set. He would tell anyone who would listen about the crime that had been committed against him.

This was all a ruse though, he had his suspect and hoped this would flush her out.

Three more days passed though and nothing happened. The production office had started playing darts on his sign, clearly they were not appreciating the severity of the situation.

David started more aggressively interrogating the editors, hoping word would get to Harmony's daughter or at least Harmony about how much he loved this water bottle.

No one knew where the water bottle was and people were starting to think David was a little emotionally unstable.

"If I just buy you a new water bottle will you shut the fuck up?" Asked cool Victor with the socks.

"It's not the money man, it's the sentimental value…"

David wondered if he should offer a reward. Kids are dicks, but also five dollars is a King's ransom to a child.

Everyone was starting to look guilty to him. David would walk into a room and see people whispering, only to stop upon his entrance.

What about Dave downstairs? Why was he so quick to throw a toddler under the bus? Maybe to distract from the obvious assailant? Dave did also live in Venice by the way, maybe he was the culprit of the package theft too! The motive…maybe bitter at David's writing success or possibly their name similarity? Who knows, Dave did look like an 80's bully. That should be proof enough!

David's phone buzzed. It was Joel Kinnaman asking about basketball on Saturday. How does one tell Robocop that he can't think about Saturday when his precious water bottle is missing.

Just then Katie walked by, "Hey David is Dj Cutty Snark still playing the wrap party?"

"GOD DAMMIT, NO KATIE I TOLD YOU MAC EL CAPITAN IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH MY OLD VERSION OF PRO TOOLS!"

Katie, 7 months pregnant, was extremely taken aback.

David realized what he had just done.

"Sorry Katie, I mean, I can't do it because my laptop isn't backed up, I arranged for someone else to play."

The water bottle thing was getting out of control. He was beginning to lash out at coworkers, assess blame and even invent evidence. Maybe the water bottle had just fallen off the drying rack into the trash can. They were right next to each other. Maybe David hadn't properly positioned the water bottle in the drying rack.

He began to realize he would never see the water bottle again as he began pulling down the first of his hundred signs.

"I could swear I saw that earlier…"

David spun around and he was standing face to face withe Elissa, a costumer from the first floor.

STAY TUNED FOR THE EPIC CONCLUSION OF THE WATER BOTTLE IN PART 3: A NEW DAY.