"WHERE?!"
Elissa's hair was purple today. It varied on a weekly basis. She was the real life embodiment of Kate Winslet's character from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Elissa had started the season as a PA but now she had somehow ascended the ranks to Key Costumer. David was sure the fact that her dad was a big time television director had nothing to do with the promotion.
"I don't know, it looks like a pretty common water bottle or maybe I just saw another one of your signs."
Dejected, David slumped his shoulders.
"Wait a minute, what are you doing up here? You never come to the writer's office!"
"I came to get you for your fitting silly!"
David had completely forgotten, in his water bottle panic, it had slipped his mind that he had agreed to appear on camera on the show's season finale. He was ironically going to be playing a DJ. Well a cop that was DJ'ing the policemen's ball.
"Oh, right that."
David had insisted that he thought his regular Earth tones would be sufficient for the role. Elissa thought he would look better in a policeman's dress uniform.
"And why don't you shave your beard and leave the mustache? Then you'll look like a real life cop!"
A real life cop, ha, the thought amused David. At 6 foot 1 160 pounds, he would not oft be mistaken as a man in blue. Perhaps as a Silverlake hipster going to a costume party but never an actual police officer.
David walked into the costume dressing room. The costume PA, Alex was belting out the chorus of "Music of the Night" from Andrew Lloyd Weber's The Phantom of the Opera. He didn't notice David come in for over a minute.
"Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. Tocuh me Trust me. Savour each SSENSA- Oh shit. Sorry. You're here for your fitting?"
"Uh, ya. You a big fan of musicals?" David asked.
"I have seen Phantom of the Opera 74 times."
"Cool, I was in Les Mis once."
"Were you Marius? You would be SUCH a good Marius."
"Enjolras."
"Oh." Alex couldn't mask his disappointment, "Here throw this on."
David put on his outfit, he looked ridiculous. Why had he agreed to go on camera? That was quality office time he was missing out on. Time that could be better spent looking for his goddam water bottle.
David walked upstairs now in a policeman's uniform. He was looking in drawers, snooping through offices. Crawford, the writers' PA saw David dressed as a cop and started to wonder if he was truly losing his mind.
Thursday started with auspicious news. The office dog Rita had caught her toe on an escalator. There were rumors that she would lose the paw. Everyone was devastated. Due to the rain, it took longer than usual for David to get downtown to the set.
It was the last day of shooting on season 1. It was cause for celebration. Around lunchtime news came of a season 2 renewal. David knew he was up for a staff writer job and should be really excited, but he kept coming back to the water bottle.
At wrap, all the cast and crew were hugging and celebrating the end of their long 9 month journey together. People kept approaching David to make sure they would see him at the wrap party.
"Ya, sure…I'll be there probably."
David walked back to his car and drove back toward Venice when he received a text.
"Is this it?" It was a text from Katie.
David nearly drove off the side of the road.
On the screen staring back at him in all of it's glory was a stainless steel water bottle with a very significant chip of paint missing.
Katie had been walking to the kitchen to get her daily bag of White Cheddar Cheez-its and noticed a water bottle on the drying rack. It had DEFINITELY not been there when she stopped by earlier to make a ginger tea.
She retrieved the water bottle and walked briskly to her desk to take a photo and send it to her distressed friend David.
"It is! It is! Where did you find it? What happened?"
So much for not asking questions…
Word spread quickly around the office that the water bottle had been found. Nate, the line producer's assistant was especially upset.
"My girlfriend knows Starlee Kine, the host of the Mystery Show podcast. It would've made for a great episode."
The general mood around the office though was relief.
"Does that mean those stupid signs are finally coming down?" Inquired 2nd Assistant Accountant Emily.
David diverted his path from Venice toward the Manhattan Beach offices. He wasn't taking any chances.
Katie took one last glance at the bottle before calling it a night. Post Ranch Inn Big Sur. "Huh, I wonder what was so sentimental about that water bottle…"
***
The Post Ranch Inn is a five star hotel located on the bluffs of Big Bear. If you wanted a room on the night of April 18th it would cost you $980. One Yelper said "The Tree Houses were separate enough from each other to allow more maximum privacy and seclusion." Another said "I don't even know where to begin."
Sounds romantic.
On Monday, March 28th, Emmy Award winning television director Eric Launeville was hungover. He had just finished directing episode 21, his second of the season. He had planned some time off for himself, he was on a vacation of sorts, but he had forgotten that he wanted to go in Monday and review some dailies.
He thought about canceling, but that would be unprofessional. He couldn't believe how late he had stayed up the night before, watching zombie movies and drinking whiskey. It had seemed fun at the time, fun that he was paying for dearly now.
He showed up to the editing bay at around 10am. Jimmy was waiting for him with a very rough editor's cut. Eric excused himself to the kitchen before they screened it. Eric looked at the water cooler. It was full, but next to it were those pesky 6 ounce dixie cups. He filled one up and drank it quickly. He filled it again.
This simply would not do. Eric scanned the room for something larger that he could fill with water. There was a small coffee mug by the sink, a plastic cup and then out of the corner of his eye on the drying rack he saw a gold, stainless steel water bottle.
'Is it weird to borrow a water bottle?' Eric thought to himself. Nah, plus whomever the water bottle belonged to would understand. Everyone has been hungover before. Eric filled the water bottle with ice cold water and returned to the editing bay.
After the screening Eric excused himself to the rest room. While Jimmy was cleaning out partially in the dark he noticed Eric's now empty water bottle and went ahead and tossed it in his bag. Eric didn't realize he had accidentally stolen the water bottle until he got home.
Whatever, it's a cheap water bottle from the hotel gift shop. No one will miss it. He tossed the water bottle in his back seat and thought nothing of it.
The next week Eric was brought in for some reshoots of his episode. He was feeling good now. Everyone was feeling good. Word on the street was that Rosewood was likely to get picked up for a second season. That probably meant a couple more paychecks for Eric. He could use them too. The renovation bill on his house was starting to add up quite a bit.
He was all smiles walking through the writer's office. He wanted to have a quick word with his editor when he saw the sign. All the color drained from his face.
"I won't ask questions just please return it."
Eric had stolen an assistant's water bottle. My god, the Post Ranch Inn, it's one of the nicest hotels in the world. OF COURSE HE WANTS IT BACK.
Eric was on edge the rest of the day. How could he tell David he had taken the water bottle. Of course it was an honest mistake. But would he be judged? A grown man can't get away with 'I was hungover so I stole your water bottle.' No, he needed a plan.
The next day the show was renewed officially for season 2 and Eric knew what he had to do.
"Eric, what are you doing here? Working on your cut of 121? Sorry, Todd is on set but Jimmy is probably back there." Katie was alone in the office the only one to greet him.
"No, I uh…did you know I own a restaurant?"
"I didn't?"
"Well I just wanted to bring y'all a little Louisiana gumbo to congratulate everyone on season 2."
Katie found a place for the red beans and rice that Eric had brought by. While she did this he slipped into the kitchen, opened his bag and returned the water bottle to the drying rack he had found in 10 days previous.
With that he was gone.
Katie looked for Eric to thank him one more time for the food, but decided to just grab a bag of her White Cheddar Cheez its instead. She walked into the kitchen and saw a water bottle staring her in the face.
"No way."
Eric peeled out past the gate of Manhattan Beach Studios and smirked. "He will never know."
The End
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