Man Overboard

It's June 1st, 2004 and I'm in a giant grass field in Noblesville, IN wandering around with 24,000 other teenagers. A Blink-182 concert has just let out and we're looking for my car. I'm fairly sure I'm sober.

I'm with two of my best friends and we are telling each other it's the best concert we've ever seen. We are fucking fired up. Also, if memory serves me right, we're sober.

"Hey do you guys want to win $2300?"

I look down at a portly woman in her 30's holding a WZPL sign. WZPL was one of the Alternative Rock radio stations in Indianapolis at the time. And of course I want $2300, I'm 17 and that money could last me a lifetime.

"Um, sure...what do we have to do?"

"Well we're commemorating the 'What's My Age Again?' music video so all you need to do is go streaking through the parking lot."

"Uh uh...NOPE!" One of my buddies has balked at the idea.

"Come on man, $2300, that's like $800 a person. That will pay for the rest of our concerts AND all of our beer for the rest of the summer."

"Dude, we can't even buy beer."

The radio station rep peps up.

"I can get you beer."

A beat while this registers.

"If you guys run streaking through this parking lot for 30 seconds, I'll buy you four cases of beer IN ADDITION to the $2300."

We are nearly convinced. Four cases of beer at 17 would have lasted us at least a month. Six beers was a big night back then.

"And you're not going to like videotape this or anything, right?"

"We're a radio station, why would we videotape you."

OK, I think, I'm in. I look at my other two buddies, they're game as well. Adrenaline pulses through our veins as we prepare to shuck our pants and run. My friend Dan pops his shirt first, I drop trough...

We're off to the races.

And not only are we running around like lunatics, showing anyone who passes some teenage D, we are actively trying to recreate the video. At one point I attempt a cartwheel and land squarely on my face. My friend Tanner attempts to do the 'party boy' in front of a middle aged woman. (In 2016 this would clearly register as sexual assault) We are absolutely going for it.

But then I look back and realize something is wrong. The radio station rep is pointing and laughing and starting to walk away. When she sees me eyeing her, she starts to run. Unfortunately for her, we were 17 varsity athletes. Chasing her down wasn't a tough task. When we catch up to her we demand our $2300.

"Guys, I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry. I made that all up. I don't work for the radio station."

"But where did you get the sign?"

"I found it at an abandoned booth inside."

I'm fuming. My buddies are livid.

"What about the beer?"

"I mean I don't have any beer and it's going to take hours to get out of this parking lot. I have a water bottle of vodka that you can have?"

I snatch the water bottle.

"Also you guys are cute and my friend and I will make out with you."

"You're like 30."

"So?"

For whatever reason (the story, always the story) I make out with this girl who is at best a generous 4 and then they trot away laughing.

My buddies and I stare at each other for a few seconds before falling to the ground laughing.

"Well at least we didn't get arrested."

"And we have the vodka! Let's go drink it in someone's basement."

This is pretty much a perfect encapsulation of a summer evening in Indianapolis, streaking through a field, acquiring booze by nefarious methods and then spending a night getting fucked up in some lavish Geist basement.

I miss those days and Blink 182 will always remind me of that time in my life.

Years later I would go to a Blink 182 concert at Summerfest a day before I was set to start my first collegiate job. I think I stayed up until 3 in the morning to Flatlines at Trinity bar.

Blink 182 represents irresponsibility to me in the greatest possible way.

I'm 29 now and I still find myself asking 'What's My Age Again?' albeit I'm spending significantly less time streaking through parks. (When you're 17 it's cute, when you're my age it's a felony.)

However, I have been jamming out to their new album all day, and I notice that Blink is coming to LA on Saturday, October 1st. So I ask of you: will you help me reclaim the recklessness of my youth and come to the show with me? Life is too serious sometimes. I think we deserve a little pop-punk break to remind us of that once in a while.