I'm starting to get to the age where I no longer recognize half of my Facebook friends because their names have all changed. When I click on their photos I can only chuckle to myself as I see Linda the girl who shit herself on a bar crawl is now holding a newborn next to her husband.
People grew up man.
It's only reasonable that I have noticed a severe downtrend in what used to be my favorite staple of the night: The pregame. Or whatever it's called in your part of the world, the pre-drink, prep party, party before the party...the place everyone would meet to take 15 shots of room temperature triple distilled vodka so you would spend less than 20 dollars at the bar. The place where you would blast shitty EDM to get pumped about the night. And yes, the place where people can get a warm intro to members of the opposite sex and start to decide who they may have the optimum chance of going home with.
They seem to be a thing of the past man.
I remember the pregame used to be my favorite part of the night. Hell, I was the guy who never wanted to leave. While one person was frantically trying to get out the door, I would hurl back phrases like..."We'll get the next one" or "Second wave." Some nights I was having such a good time pregaming that I never made it to the bar. I regret nothing.
But as we've grown up, it seems people are less inclined to binge drink between the hours of 9-11. Maybe it's because people have more disposable income now, the financial stakes aren't as high. Maybe people have significant others, so it's less important to mingle with people before. Or perhaps, people are just no longer actively pursuing a black out. Whatever the case, it's probably for the best. We're adults, we can go out, meet at the bar, have a few drinks and go home.
It's fine.
Counterpoint: Fuck that.
People may say getting married is the moment you give up on your dreams, or maybe it's the moment you ask your SO to bring you toilet paper, but I'm here to tell you that the moment it's all over for you is when you decide you're too good to show up to someone's apartment with a 6 pack of beer and fight over who gets to airplay their Spotify playlist.
Meeting at the bar? What kind of half assed measure is that? You might as well be the person that is super busy but will 'try to pop by.' You're the worst.
'Oh you and Irene have to stop by a baby shower first?' I didn't ask you about Irene and I sure as hell didn't ask about any fucking babies, are you in it to win it or not? Let's just look at a list of reasons why pregames rule.
1. A sense of community
When you trickle into a pregame there is a weird sense of anticipation. Who will be here? I wonder if Jen brought her cute cousin from Omaha. It's like the first day of school when you wonder who will be in your class. Who will you sit next to? Is your next girlfriend in here? Will you meet some awesome bro tonight that you will go on 8 trips with?
These relationships can only be forged at a pregame. If you show up at the bar? Sure, you're with the group but you aren't WITH the group. You're a hanger on. You are tolerated. You're the JV guy who tells people he is on Varsity.
2. Epic cab rides
You know what's almost as fun as the pregame? Getting into your UberXL with a giant water bottle full of Grand Legacy Whiskey and demanding the driver hand you an AUX cable. You know who doesn't get to participate in Bohemian Rhapsody Sing-a-longs? The guy that just meets you at the bar.
Don't worry about your star rating. Uber drivers love driving around drunk people that karaoke. I bet it doesn't bother them when you fuck in their backseat either.
3. Financial Responsibility
While we can all argue the merits of renting vs home ownership, I think we can all agree that purchasing a 10 dollar cocktail at a bar is not the best use of one's limited resources. Maybe you are trying to dial back your drinking a bit, but what if you meet someone and want to stay out longer? What if the night turns into one of those all timers and you know you have to catch up?
The average cost of going from zero to drunk at an LA bar is $68. $68 can pay your cable bill, it can pay your car insurance, it can go into a Roth IRA. It's MUCH cheaper to get a solid base for relatively cheap and then coast on $6 Domestic Beers. That's just sound financial advise I even think my father would agree with. You know what is a lot of fun? Yelling out shots!!! and getting everyone to take one. You know what's less fun? Coughing up $100 for that decision.
4. A controllable environment
Do you know why tv shows prefer to shoot on a stage as opposed to practical locations? Because everything on a stage can be controlled. Everything at a bar is variable, but everything at a pregame can be controlled. The lighting can be changed, the music can be changed, there likely won't be any weirdos there because well hopefully your friend doesn't invite weirdos over. There is a lockable bathroom to do drugs in, if you absolutely have to you can probably borrow your buddies closet for a romantic indiscretion. There is no line and everything is free. You can even smoke pot in the open. There are no hours of operation. Comfortable seating too!
5. Coming in hot
No one gives a fuck when you show up at a bar. No one is looking at the door waiting for you to come in. But such as everyone makes an entrance on Bachelor in Paradise, you too get to make an entrance at a pregame. A solid entrance can set the tone for a very memorable night.
There are a million other reasons why pregaming is awesome, but just remember, it's something you're never too old to do. I was at a pregame a few weeks ago with a bunch of dudes in their mid 30's, they are all studio execs and shit. We pregamed for like 3 hours at 11am.
Do you know why? Because successful people pregame.
So next time someone tries to tell you, they'll just catch you at the bar or link up with you later...next time someone gives you side eye for inviting them over for a few cocktails to get the night started; just remember, this person is a coward and they do not deserve to be in your presence.
In the same way that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, the pregame is always the most important drink(s) of the night.
Cheers!
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