Thursday, January 21, 2010

Top 10: Why Thursdays in the real world rock

Once a week I will attempt to make some sort of top 10 list that will be shamelessly graphic and self-serving. Today we will focus on Thursdays, which one would think would block some major cock post college (when worst case scenario you had class...and even if you did...it was class.) The rush hour is the worst of the week, getting people to come out is like pulling teeth, and you have to wake up at 630 tomorrow morning. But it's not all bad, and these are a few reasons why:

10. Drink Specials- If you live in a big city you are no stranger to anal rape via the price of drinks. A round cost $80 for you and your 5 friends. Fortunately a few bars out there will still offer a good special Thursday night and everyone will congrugate there...cheap and packed, double whammy.

9. You don't have to be a hero- Most people on a Thursday night won't be dragging you to the 5 am bar unless its a particularly epic evening. This allows you to close early and still get a few hours of sleep.

8. A welcome hangover- Being hungover at work may suck to some...I love it. It makes time travel. You spend the morning joking with co-workers about how fucked up you got the night before, then after lunch you feel like a miracle and it is Friday afternoon. Bonus.

7. Warm ups- You ever see Lebron take the court without a brief shoot-around, or Peyton face an opponent without studying some film? Thursday is a perfect little preseason game to your weekend. The competition may use Friday as their warm-up, then they in turn have a much shorter season. If you play it conservative, you can plant the seeed Thursday, make-out Friday, and Saturday close...or you can always be a champion and go for the Threepeat.

6. Low key- Thursday nights are great for getting a booth with some friends and sipping on some pops and shooting the shit. You never remember the drug induced nights that you rage your face off on Friday and Saturday. Hey, your friends are pretty cool. This can be your chance to actually enjoy it...Warning: blackouts still regularly occur on low key evenings.

5. A Team- Everyone and their mother comes out on Friday and Saturday nights, similar to how even losers and GDI's get realllly pumped for New Years. Think of Thursday night as a members only event. You can trim the fat of the social scene because the dorks will be busy playing Madden in their parents' basement, god forbid going out on a work night.

4. Weekend planning- How many times have you gone into a Thursday night without any definitive plan for the weekend, had a few shots and ended up planning a roadtrip to Nashville...not enough.

3. Statistics- The law of averages says that for each added attempt your chances of success >= 1 increase exponentially. Picture Roulette. You put your money on red twice...you have approximately a 25% of losing both times. 3 times...drops to 13%
You have an 87% chance of getting laid at least once if you go out Thursday. Can't argue with Math.

2. Wake up call- Ever wake up and your shacker is still there, and you want her to leave but are unsure how to broach the subject? Try this. "I'm going to work now...see ya."

and the number 1 reason Thursdays still rock and you should go out and seize the day...

1. Why the fuck not??? - You are young and fun and work performance doesn't really matter. With age it will become less and less socially acceptable to hit the town on a Thursday, but at this point society isn't quite calling it a felony. When you wake up 30 years from now there is no way you will say to yourself...I shouldn't have gone out that random Thursday in January of 2010...but you might ask yourself, I wonder what I missed out on. Don't ever let that question come into your life.

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