In my projects: Old Town

Meanwhile in a very important city planning meeting...
Alderman 42: Well what the fuck are we going to do with these 1000 unemployed homeless crackheads?
City Planner: Zero lot line housing on the city's near west side?
Alderman: No, these people don't deserve free houses, and we've fucked with Oak Park enough already.
City Planner: The prisons?
Alderman: Overcrowded, we already let rapists out if they promise to stay away from playgrounds.
City Planner: What about a high rise tenement style apartment building?
Alderman: Projects.
City Planner: Um, ya...
Alderman: And where do you propose we put this?
City Planner: Southside obviously...
Alderman: No you know what, fuck Alderman 43. He fucked my wife back in the 80's and I've always wanted to get him back, let's put a steaming cesspool of heroin needles, violence and prostitution right in his back yard.
City Planner: OK, we'll soften the blow by naming it after the first American saint, Francesca Cabrini.

Welcome to old town the only place in Chicago where you will find actual projects as well as Joe Perillo's 12 lot Greek mansion. (If it was any tackier I would swear he was...well, let's just say he has bad taste)

Old town is home to the famous bar district around North and Wells and also two of the most badass street festivals all summer: The old town art fair, and the wine crush. (These are seriously fucking insane I have watched people go into portopotties together out back of O'Briens during a cover of Dave Matthews Crash...blog to come when seasonally appropriate) It's hard to get a feel for the residents of old town. They are slightly older than the Lincoln Park hooligans, but not as chic as the yuppies who have saved enough loot to go down to gold coast/river north. Also there is a large portion of old town that overlaps with Lincoln Park. (Halsted, North Ave, Armitage, Wells that box indicates people live technically in both and is one of the wealthiest rectangles in the city. Some people that live in this box actually have front yards and have summertime frat parties...what?) This is a contrast with the housing south of North avenue which is quite a bit more diverse...and once you get to division, you better be handy with the steal if you know what I mean.

Great restaraunts, classy bars, and more than a few historical landmarks I would qualify Oldtown as one of the most generally well liked places in Chicago...I would equate it to the way people felt about the movie Caddyshack. Most people loved it, but it's probably not your favorite. Faux sophisticated people will post up at Benchmark, Old Town Social or Fireplace and brag about how they are "doing something different" or "Ya I'm kind of over Lincoln Park." These same people will be cabbing it to either Hangge Uppe or Beaumont later, guaranteed. That is after they can stand after 3 large lemonades (read: Hairy Bear) on a Thursday night...

So Old Town is kind of boring, except for the fact that Twin Anchors IS the bar from The Dark Knight where two face takes the shot of whiskey and it leaks through his face (so metal) but other than that, some classy bars and two wild weekends its just a nice place to drink, eat and live...so let's focus on the next chapter of the saga from earlier.

City Planner: Cabrini has to fucking go. We need to knock it down like...yesterday.
Alderman: What the fuck happened this is an election year!
City Planner: White kids from Lincoln Park were getting their heroin and cocaine from there. Most of them were robbed only, some murdered, some od'd on bad stuff.
Alderman: Well fuck...where are we going to put the residents. Can we just knock it down with everyone still in there and say "oops?"
City Planner: Are you high?
Alderman: A little...
City Planner: Well we're back to our original problem. The state is broke, we can't build shitty housing on the South or West side, and the only place that has available space, with abandoned buildings in the state is...
Alderman: Is what?
City Planner: Urbana.
Alderman: Like the Urbana next to University of Illinois...isn't that a little close to campus? We don't want a bunch of heathens running around AIDSing up the Coeds via rape and dirty needles.
City Planner: It would move the problem out of Chicago.
Alderman: I went to Iowa.
City Planner: I went to IU.
Alderman: Fuck 'em do it. U of I sucks.

Yes, the moral of the story is that U of I sucks and Unofficial does too.