Unreality TV

Meanwhile at the offices of TLC...
Exec 1: I just don't know if 5 shows about lady cops is enough...
Exec 2: Fuck that more shows about unexpectedly large families...
Exec 1: Do we already have a show about midgets?
Exec 2: Several
Exec 1: What about a show about people that eat toilet paper?
Exec 2: It premiered last night, set a record too.
Exec 1: Gypsies...
Exec 2: Arranged marriages of gypsies...
Exec 1: And we'll steal an existing piece of pop culture and call it my "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding"
*High Five*
Exec 2: I'll call the hookers.

But you will watch them. You pathetic brain dead retards will watch them, or your menopausal mother, or your next door neighbor with 9 cats or some severely depressed person that just wants to know that some people are more fucked up than they are...they will tune in. And I get it, it's weird, it's different, it's quasi-fascinating to see how some people live. In some cases its like looking over at a mangled car crash to see if you can spot a mangled body or an impending explosion. But then why all the stupid ass shows about cakes? Do you know why everyone in this country is so fucking fat? Because middle aged women sit in their living room fisting themselves while watching 3 consecutive hours of gourmet cake construction...and I love how they always throw WARS into the title to make it sound that much more intense.

...and the shows with lots of kids. What a bad example they are setting, I bet every meth head couple out there thinks that if he just knocks up his wife enough times Discovery is going to knock on their door with a million dollar check and "put them on that there television." That's how it works right? And they might even have a better chance if she is on crack at the time of her child birth! "Crack Babies coming to TLC this fall." Anything relatively bizarre to the mainstream these days gets a fucking reality show. Is there really a market for a tv show about Mall Cops? Well Paul Blart did half a billion internationally so let's capitalize on Kevin James' fart jokes.

Why would people want to watch Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, I didn't know I was pregnant. I think it would be much more interesting to watch them in the act of their whoring, perhaps a nice show about the bullshit they fell for that made them spread their legs in the first place. That could possibly give me a good chuckle. These people are exploited for being white trash and as unentertaining as I find it, I can't believe the moral conscience of America hasn't turned on the networks for shoving this trash down our throats. Reality TV is going to eventually destory scripted TV and then all we'll be left with is midget todlers in tiaras saying yes to the dress while their fathers are out pawning shit that they hoarded. I hope that will make everyone happy.

I mean if we are going to completely say fuck it why don't we turn this blog into a realtiy show?

Me: Well it's like Real World meets Intervention meets The Hills
Exec: How so?
Me: Well everyone parties every night but technically has a job, they all probably belong in rehab and they spend a ton of money and hang out with attractive people.
Exec: Are there midgets, incest and swamp loggers?
Me: Not always...
Exec: Fuck it, I'll take a pilot if at least one of the characters has an abusive father.

Well it would at least be better than Sarah Palin's Alaska? Seriously I'm sure the Mormons would love it, since that's what it's all about right? Seeing how the other side lives? A bunch of desperate housewife types strung out on lithium want to see the struggles of poverty. Middle class kids fantasize to sailing on Brody Jenner's yacht, everyone is intrigued by what they don't have. Perhaps that's why I hate reality TV because I have it all, or perhaps I'm just pissed off that I never made it on Real World and that's why I want reality TV as a whole to go fuck itself. Whatever the case, I'll keep watching The Bachelor but only because talking about girly TV shows is a great way to insert yourself into a conversation with random hot chicks.