Ragers in the park

One of the two most frustrating things in the world is the inability to bring a cooler full of booze to North Avenue beach. I mean you can, but you can also smoke crystal meth on the back cabin of a blue line train to forest park but you may get arrested (or in the latter situation, have to share.) In all actuality most cops will make you pour out your booze, and laugh at you while you do it. Some will leave you alone if you make the slightest effort to cover up (solo cups, vodka in water bottles) your shenanigans. However, I just think that there is a big missed opportunity here. I would pay an extra ten bucks to go to a 21+ section of the beach, where boozing, accidental nudity and dancing were all encouraged. Oh what, there is? It's called Castaways? 8 dollars a beer no thanks bro. On an unrelated note, the 2nd most frustrating thing in the world is the Keurig's inability to make a full cup of coffee.

So what are we to do since the beach has gone all Narc on the twentysomethings, are we doomed to not be able to drink outside unless we are in my fron yard or the Zella patio? Not at all the case my friends, as a strong proponent of drinking conspicuously in places that it would be otherwise inappropriate, I have compiled a brief list of your opportunities to stick it to the man.

Movies in the Park- Movies in the Park may sound like a lame date night idea to the rookies out there. I'm sure that's what Park District admin had in mind when they signed off on allowing alcohol there. "Oh what a perfect date night idea, a bottle of blush between two young lovers and a loaf of bread with cheese spread in a picnic basket." Ya, that's not quite how it always goes down. I went to a few of these last year and was awe struck with the professionalism of some of the of the tailgate set-ups. We are talking fully stocked wet bars, with mini kegs, grills, even tents. Now that was in Lincoln Park, I'm sure on the south side it's more like full rotisserie chickens from Dominicks complimented by 5 dollar hot and ready pizzas and 40s, but whatever. They play some pretty whack flicks, but it's not about the movie, it's about putting down a liter of vodka and then turning your bug spray and a lighter into a flamethrower with mixed results.

New Music Monday's at Millenium Park- Not a movie fan? Fine, how about getting shalacked in the middle of the Jay Pritzker Pavillion, surrounded by the city, on your own booze? Fuck and yes. That's what I said too. Every Monday at 6 there is a BYOB concert in Millenium Park. Now I know what you're thinking, really new music Monday, is it going to be a bunch of weird indie shit? Yes. But who cares, drinking is always amplified when it is outside, in public and near live music, that's like a 3x multiplier right there...and if you come up with some bullshit line about how you've been tracking their career since they were playing independent coffee houses in SoHo, some Wicker Park chick may invite you on a late night bike ride or something.

Street festivals, everywhere- So these are the best because there is a new one every weekend in a different section of the city. Definitely a very cool way to see more of Chicago if you are into that sort of thing. I've never gone to a street fest and had a bad time. You are guaranteed a ton of people, lots of alcohol and some solid tunes. If you are trying to do this on the cheap, may I remind you that the donation is "suggested" for those of you who have no soul. That said, there is nothing to stop you from bringing your own booze in a backpack. It's just another way of beating the system my friend. Street fests are a great way to encourage day drinking and Sunday drinking, which are both staples of the summer.

So yes, it seems Chicago can't quite make up it's mind about drinking in public, but there are plenty of ways to shut down that open container law yourself. Remember this is a legit city with murders and stuff so if you are cruising around the zoo with some dark shades on drinking a questionably colored drink, you are probably in the clear as long as you are dressed well and under the age of 30. In closing, I'll remind everyone that the 7/11 across from Wrigley Field sells fifths of hard liquor and they don't do pat downs at Cubs Games.