Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Notes to my Former Self


Last night while struggling to light a bonfire a thought popped into my head.

"Man if I would have never quit boy scouts I would be able to light this thing with a rock and a piece of twine."

As i sat there staring at the smoldering newspapers and no flame, I wondered why I quit boy scouts. Sure I was busy with other things, I was probably playing four sports at the time. But while I will never likely need to use a defensive line swim move the rest of my life, some wilderness survival skills sure would come in handy.

I probably quit boy scouts because I perceived it as lame. Even though I now know there is nothing lame about hiking, knowing how to chop wood, or identify poisonous snakes. Almost all of the decisions I made as a child were decisions based on wanting to fit in. I'm not unhappy with where I am in my life. I live at the beach, I'm healthy and I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family. I have no regrets, but as a thought exercise, I thought I would go back and scribble a few words of advice to a version of myself for each of the past 20 years. Let's see if I learn anything.

1998:
Middle school is the worst right? Boys are discovering girls, girls are discovering boys. Nothing truly matters in middle school, though if I could go back I would be nicer to people. Doing shitty things to prop yourself up might seem like a good idea in the short term, but it never works out. Also for the love of God play less video games. Dad was right, it's a beautiful day outside. Go shoot some hoops and listen to music.

1999:
Just a reminder that this is the year you chose to play All Star baseball instead of going snorkeling for two weeks in the Florida Keys. I can now confirm that you are not going to go pro in baseball. You will never learn to be a good fielder, but you will probably never have another chance in your life to go on a two week marine biology trip to Key Largo and spear fish.

2000:
Ok this is the year that you quit saxophone. Not like you were the best player ever, but you probably quit because 'band is lame.' Here's a quick head's up. In 5 years your favorite band will prominently feature a saxophone. Imagine how great it would be to join a Dave Matthews/OAR cover band. But you'll never know that feeling because you locked that thing in a box and never looked back.

2001:
Welcome to high school. Look you did fine, but I would strongly advise you to try harder. Sure your 2.8 GPA got you into Indiana University because you destroyed your SAT but when you look back some day you'll realize that learning is actually pretty cool. Had you just paid attention during Spanish class you would likely be fluent by now. For God's sake, do your homework. I know it was much easier to get on AIM and A/S/L chicks all night, but you'll have plenty of time to do all that shit on Gchat in your 20's. Appreciate science class, this is the last year you will take one. Science is awesome.

2002:
This is the year you quit theater because you thought it would improve your social standing. Yet here I am living in Los Angeles trying to pursue a creative field. Theater classes in high school were free, now it's $500 to take an improv class at UCB. It's amazing the things you will do as a kid because you think it will make people like you. Don't worry about it, do the things that you like, regardless of what other people think. The same goes for speech team, you're really good at it. Keep going.

2003:
Don't lie to your parents. The shit you will put them through the next 14 years is enough already. If you stayed late at a party because of a girl, just tell them. They'll understand. The energy you put forth trying to evade them is so not worth it. Also you know how you're in this phase right now where family vacations are kind of lame? They're not. Do you know how rare FREE family vacations will be when you're grown. A trip to the beach where dad pays for a dolphin excursion? A trip to the national parks in the American southwest? Your parents are the two most important people in your life and they won't always be around. Appreciate every second with them.

2004:
College application year, terrifying. Quick reminder though that if you had been busting your ass this whole time, relying on your teachers for more support, more doors would be open for you at this time. Indiana University will be good to you, but you're a bright kid and you really let yourself down by sitting in the back row doing crossword puzzles instead of paying attention. Read the books you're assigned, don't read the Spark Notes. You're going to want to be a writer some day, reading other great authors is fantastic practice.

2005:
Friendly reminder that this is the year that you turned a summer in Europe down because you wanted to hang with your friends at Lake Sweetwater, a man made pond in Southern Indiana. I don't even know what more to say, it might be the worst mistake of your life.

2006:
Pledging will end, don't worry, it will be worth it. Also don't feel pressured to do the business school because you think it will make you rich and powerful. If you have a real passion for film or law talk to one of the million resources available to you FOR FREE. Get a life coach FOR FREE. Contrary to your belief, everyone in academia wants you to succeed, let them help you.

2007:
Oh my God, your self worth is not determined by how well your frat pairs. Life will go on if you can't get into Kilroy's this night. You live in a mansion with unlimited booze anyway, why are you leaving?

2008:
Not gonna lie, you absolutely killed it this year. You went abroad, you traveled every weekend, you wrote every day, you made memories with amazing people that you will never forget. Maybe be less of an idiot on your internship this summer, if you would have landed that job you would be making well over 6 figures.

2009:
Instead of worrying every day about your future, embrace it. Yes college is ending and you should take every opportunity to spend time with your friends and have fun, but also don't feel that every job you go up for has to be through the Indiana business school. Talk to your professors, tell them what you like to do, most of them had private sector jobs once upon a time. Do not rely on your charisma to land you the perfect gig. Take a million pictures, have a million laughs, you will never forget this time the rest of your life.

2010:
She'll break your heart some day, but it will be the best two years of your life. Go for it.

2011:
Don't be afraid to look for another job if you're miserable. You probably won't actually fail a background check because of a drinking ticket you got in college. But also in hindsight, don't tell a bunch of coworkers about your blog.

2012:
Do it, pack up and move to LA. Chase your dream. Once you get here you'll never want to leave. You are going to meet so many incredible people and go on so many wonderful adventures in the coming years, it's probably the greatest decision you will ever make. Yo, pay your parking tickets though, those aren't optional.

2013:
Ayyyy, you got your start in TV! This is cool! If I could make one suggestion though, be extra diligent in staying in touch with cool people that could possibly help you out some day. Ask people in power to mentor you, someone is much more likely to wan to help you get a good job or promotion if they feel personally invested. Oh also five days in New Orleans is two too many.

2014:
Really appreciate every opportunity you are given. Drop the 'cool guy' schtick. You may think people will want to help you out because they enjoy being around you, but being reliable is more important. Showing up to work an hour late because you were on a Thursday night bender is a bad look.

2015:
You've been in LA for four years now. You might not have thought you could have made it this long. Congrats you're a survivor, but stop waiting for things to happen for you and make them happen. Write every day. Don't be afraid to pack up a bag and go travel by yourself. Enter every screenwriting contest you hear about. Follow up with interesting people you meet. It's easy to count down the days to the weekend where you can run around with reckless abandon, but if you're always counting down the days until the next party, what are you really working towards?

2016:
Don't take things for granted. You have a fantastic quality of life, but things can always go south in a second. Be thankful for the things you have. Be passionate about the things you want. Work hard and good things will happen. Also don't take your car keys on the Big Ten Bar Crawl.

2017:
Tell people how you feel about them. It's the one thing you never do because you're afraid to be vulnerable? I don't know if that is the proper word. But the people in your life will prop you up when you're down, and help you celebrate the good times when things are going well. Be a good friend, brother and son. Help people any chance you get and remember that life is short, and always take your own advice. In this town you're one bad break from rock bottom, or a good break from touching the stars. A positive attitude will take you a long way, and you would be smart to remember that. I mean step back for a minute and look at yourself. You're doing it! You're fucking going for it! It's a long and difficult road to the top, but if you keep trying, it's going to work out for you some day, I just know it.

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