When I was a kid, I sometimes rooted for the bad guy. Not always mind you, but if there were an especially bitchy protagonist, I typically rooted for him to get got. Off the top of my head I remember hating Jonathan Brandis in the Neverending story 2. I secretly rooted for Iceland in D2: The Mighty Ducks and I was cheering hard for deforestation in Fern Gully.
Call me a hater, but I have always appreciated a solid heel turn. In a predictable world where we are taught to expect happily ever after, sometimes it's just refreshing to be surprised. The truth is that in the real world, more often than not, nice guys finish last. Such has usually been the case in the world of A Song of Ice and Fire. So before you go crowning the triumvirate of Dany/Jon/Tyrion winners of the game; riding off into the sunset on their three dragons...please consider my counterpoint.
1. The White Walkers
I mean let's be real. If we were handicapping an actual war, not some work of fiction and I gave you white walkers or the field at even odds, you would jump all over that shit. They have an entire undead army and very few weaknesses. What are there like 7 Valyrian Steel swords in the entire world? Even if you add some dragon glass into the mix these motherfuckers are hard to kill. Furthermore every time they merc one of your guys, he rises to fight with them.
Sure Dany has some dragons and they are big as FUCK now, but I saw that shitty Sean Connery movie Dragonheart. It only takes one well placed sword to ace one of those motherfuckers permanently.
2. Euron Greyjoy
The Iron Islands have been by far the most boring plot line of the entire television series. I don't care about Theon/Reek or his lack of cock. I don't care about his androgynous sister or her stupid name change from book to show. I certainly don't give a fuck about this prodigal son that came home, killed his brother and became king of the least interesting part of the lands. He's kind of like that raging douche bag that went to your high school that called himself the self proclaimed 'King of Broad Ripple' or something.
That said...what a lovely troll job it would be if he joined Dany, won the war and then just stabbed her in the back in season 8 episode 6 (the last episode of the series) Did y'all know he has a magic horn that controls the dragons? Oops. Spoiler Alert.
3. Cersei Lannister
How boring have the Lannisters gotten lately? Every time Tommen is on screen I consider switching the channel to Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, but I don't for the hope of the triumphant return of Ser Pounce. I am always disappointed. But peep this, Cersei has the Mountain who is totally going to fuck up the not yet dead Hound next week. Eventually she and Jamie will hatch a plan to genocide the Faith Militant and probably drop an atom bomb on House Tyrell.
That would still leave team Stark, the dragons and the walkers in play, but if you've ever played an online game and watched a very bloody battle from the sidelines only to pick off the wounded, eventual winner, you know this could be a sound strategy. Could you not see a scene with Jamie giving his life for Cersei so she can hame the crown she always wanted?
4. Any of those fuckwits in Dorne
George RR Martin clearly hates his fans. That's why he refuses to publish a book. His fans CLEARLY hate Dorne, which is far as fuck away from King's Landing by the way.
Now in this theory, it's the end of the game. Everyone is gathered together in King's Landing for the final battle. It's like when you finally have the battle of Western Australia in Risk, only in this scenario both teams lose in a kind of nuclear holocaust. What you might not know is that there is a fuckton of wildfire buried beneath King's Landing. The Mad King, upon the realization that he was losing the war ordered his pyromancer's to "burn them all." But what he also could have done was press a massive fucking self destruct button that would have essentially burned everything to the ground.
Let me visualize this theory for you.
In this theory the fuckwits from Dorne are Voldemort.
5. Ramsay Bolton
Oh please please PLEASE let this happen. Please let Ramsay win the Battle of the Bastards, flay Rickon, defeat Sansa and set the internet aflame with crying Jordan memes. This would come as a moment even more shocking than the red wedding and then the show could cut to a shot of a table with George RR Martin throwing his silver haired balls on it. Then pixelated sunglasses would come down to cover his nuts and we could get a screen cap of either 'Deal With It' or 'Thug Life.' I think I'm privy to the latter. Then they would play a dubstep remix of the GoT theme and cut to black. The reaction videos would never get old.
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