Jezebel Presents: Why I Quit Peaky Blinders

Peaky Blinders third season opens on Tommy Shelby's wedding day. It quickly divulges into a Bacchanalian evening of cocaine, street fighting, illegal horse racing and yes, eventually murder. I was especially tickled to learn that the common street name for coke in 1920's London was 'Tokyo.' In fact let's do a quick top 10 for nicknames for cocaine:

10. Blow
9. Snow
8. White
7. Disco dust
6. Devil's dandruff
5. Shneef
4. yay
3. Tokyo
2. Feta
1. Stuff

What struck me as odd during my six hour binge last night wasn't how terribly the show treats women, it was that I hadn't read a billion articles online entitled 'Peaky Blinders Hates Women.' Honestly, is it possible that this small little BBC2 show snuck by the people at Jezebel/ThoughtCatalog/Vox/Medium. Am I the only one that noticed that every female character is merely window dressing or provides problems for their male counterparts?

I'm going to do something I NEVER do. I'm going to put on my SJW hat and write the defining article that decries how Peaky Blinders shits on its female characters. Spoilers for season 3 will follow.

Why I Quit Peaky Blinders
By D. B. Shull-Moeller

Although the 'gangster-genre' has long celebrated the mistreatment of women, minorities and the LGBT community, I have to confess, it has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. Something about watching people behave badly activates something in that deep part of my mind that I don't like to talk about. I cheered when Michael Corleone took revenge on his enemies. I audibly with joy when Janice took out Ritchie Aprile and I still cry when Tommy gets whacked in Goodfellas.

And I was on board with the Shelby clan for the first two seasons. Aside from Cillian Murphy's dreamy good looks, it was fun to see a mob show set across the pond during the same era of Boardwalk Empire. It almost acts as a companion piece in a way. But then for season three, it seems as if all the writers just pulled their dicks out and tried to have a sword fight because all empathy left on the show was replaced with childish aggression and an overload of testosterone. And this is why we can't have nice things.

5. Esme's entire storyline revolves her whining and doing cocaine
In the first two seasons Esme was a strong and faithful wife to the third Shelby brother John. She was a pillar of support for her husband and helped do the books in the office of Shelby Enterprises. Season three finds her five months pregnant, hoovering blow by the ounce and insisting it's not bad for her unborn child. She constantly complains about how boring her job is and that she can't go home because there are too many children. Then again if I had such a boring storyline, maybe I would succumb to brutal drug addiction.

4. Charlotte is introduced as a romantic interest for Michael, until she's not
Michael meets an interesting woman at his brother's wedding. They do a bunch of drugs and then have sex. We've all been there. The two start dating and things are looking promising, until Charlotte gets knocked up and Michael forces her to have an abortion because he doesn't want to deal with it. "Don't worry," counsel cousins Arthur and John, "You don't even have to be there, just wait at the bar while it happens." They almost make it sound like a pleasant experience.

3. Linda is painted as a nagging Christian making her husband soft
In the first two seasons, Linda is painted as a moral center for the Shelby brothers. In a world of darkness, she can provide some light. Not in season three! In season three, Linda is trying to get her husband to accept God and move to America to do missionary work. God forbid she try to better her mate right? But if that wasn't enough, Linda convinces all the women of Shelby Enterprises to go on strike which is then vilified as a total cunt move. Fuck equal rights and equal pay right? The Shelby women should go pee in an outhouse! Linda deserved better.

2. Polly fucks everything up by trying to be happy
Polly has an extremely rough go in season three. The Matriarch who had always been seen as Tommy's right hand man turns heavily to alcohol to cope with her PTSD after her rape and subsequent killing of Sam Neil's character. But instead of helping her through her problems, Tommy ostracizes his Aunt for drinking too much and talking too strangers. He blames her new boyfriend for the kidnapping of his son and nearly sends Polly into a nervous breakdown that culminates in the murder of an innocent man. It wasn't Pol's fault though, it was Tommy's! How does he apologize to his Aunt? By turning her into the feds at the end of the season to cover his own ass.

A quick honorable mention before we go to number 1...
Ada Shelby- Only sister of the Shelby brothers, not allowed in family, made a Communist
The Dutchess- Is seen as mentally unstable, tries to torment men sexually, betrays her family
Victoria- Hey boyfriend is killed so Tommy can fuck her in the ass in his office when convenient

1. Grace Shelby
Grace Shelby, badass undercover spy from seasons 1 and 2...exists solely so she can be shot and killed as a plot device for season three. Annabell Wallis deserved better.

Between that and not a single gay/trans/bi character...well unless we count a fucking priest that fucks children! MY GOD. FUCK THIS SHOW, I'm out. Love ya Cillian Murphy, but I'll stick to your film credits.