Wednesday, March 30, 2011

After hours part I

I've decided to write a new segment called after hours. It will be my incoherent ramblings when i get home after copious amounts of drinking with no coed in tow aka 98.7% of every night I drink. So if you are a member of the 1.3% at least you can take solace in the fact that you are probably disease free. Grammar is out the window, no filter and if you are in any way related to me you must never read these.

I went out for a casual drink tonight and that turned into 7, which turned into going to Kincades, which is full of jailbait, which begs the question...what am I doing here? Kincades is a college bar for DePaul students, who I'm convinced are all raging sluts from the north shore who refused to go too far from daddy's money. There was literally a white guy with Pauly D hair and he probably took home the hottest girl there. Is it weird that I can't tell the difference between an Italian girl and a Jew? They are both tan with black hair and seem to have strong opinions. Erroneous, I don't even know how to hit on 19 year olds anymore, what do you say? Have you heard how cool my frat is? Um, fuck off this is Chicago...ok, I have a sick pad in Lincoln Park. Yep so do I, my dad got me a sick loft. How in the fuck did i do this 5 years ago...shot, shot, shot, shot shot....*stumbles, falls down stairs, recovers, sings terrible rendition of Bon Jovi, fist pumps* thats it! It was all unintentional back then. This requires a blackout and no thought.

On the refreshing side, these self centered c muscles won't ask me about my job, they will talk about how their father's hedge fund and how fucked up they get at Congress Theatre shows. I can relate, maybe I have found my target market, they are just as mature as me. I'm glad I live in a city where I can roll with college kids and lie about my age.

Random thought of the night: All Groupon employees fuck each other like on the reg. Why do I work in Lake Forest with a bunch of geriatric patients?

Conclusion: My blog from earlier was ineffective I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

But on a positive note: Instead of going for one of these children at the bar I decided a foot long meatball sub would be much more satisfactory. I came home and checked my blog stats and found out that I had 1000 hits the past 3 weeks. You guys validate my immaturity every day. Peter Pan out.

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