Today a departure from my tales of debaucherous antics and discussion of all things fun to focus on March Madness and what the real meaning of it all is. If you are anything like me, you picked a lot of the favorites and picked a few upsets based on absolutely no knowledge of the sport and now your bracket is inexplicably fucked. A few people picked the Morehead state upset because it is synonymous with oral sex and a few people picked Richmond because on the day they filled out their bracket they listened to one guy on AM radio say it was a good pick. No one probably picked a bunch of scrubby juco guys from Marquette or a bunch of white farmboys from Indianapolis...and why would you? They look like shit on paper. Butler had a bad regular season, lost their star player from a year ago and their live bulldog mascot isn't allowed to come to tournament games. Marquette's 4 juco players didn't go to large glossy programs because they probably come from broken homes or played at schools that didn't gain them national exposure or they were flat out retarded.
You look at the rich traditions of the big schools who apparently have it all together: Louisville, Syracuse, Pitt, Purdue all outstanding teams that are well coached with superior talent to the mid majors. Of course we pick them, they are supposed to win. These are the high school captains of the state championship team, the trust fund babies that you grew up with and loved going over to their house because they had a pool and an indoor basketball court. These are the kids that your parents tell you to associate with when you're growing up, they had everything going for them but for some reason they dropped the ball.
March is crazy, everyone loves a Cindarella story. Unless you are a Pitt grad, the entire world was pulling for the underdog Saturday night. There is no way that anyone could have predicted that finish. Pitt was supposed to win, they had it won...but they tripped over destiny on their way. Sometimes things happen for a reason and no one can explain why? How are two shitty schools from Richmond, one of which is coached by some guy named Shaka in the sweet 16, playing eachother? Last time I knew a shocker his name was "Silkk the" and he's in jail. Do you care anymore about your bracket? Is the $50 you are going to win in your office pool if Duke beats Kansas enough for you to sell your soul?
I used to cheer for the bad guys. I wanted the mouse in "Mouse Hunt" to die, I thought that Ralph Macchio was a pussy and should have gotten his ass kicked...I don't know maybe I thought I was one of those "golden child" types that would go play at Duke. Something happened along the way though and now I'm in the corner of the underdog. I literally stood and cheered and chugged beer as I watched my bracket catch flame as Notre Dame fell apart Sunday night. (Not to say that anyone should ever root for Notre Dame) And even if you went to evil empire hq Purdue how can you not be a little excited for the Virginia Commonwealth team that every expert trashed on selection Sunday saying "they didn't belong." I don't get told that I don't belong that often, but I realize that like these little guys I am flawed on paper, I'm much more of an underdog now than I ever thought I would be...and just because some evil fuck like Duke will pass over me for promotions some day or a Jayhawk will get the girl that I want, doesn't mean I give up hope.
March Madness is in the air and literally anything can happen, and while my Butlers and Jimmers may not lift that trophy during "One Shining Moment," I'm sure as shit that it won't be some fuck named Hummel.
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