My God Charlie Sheen please don't ever stop. You are singlehandedly validating everything I believe in. If you are a big enough asshole my pathetic culture will respond, because there is a frat boy in all of us that wants to praise you as a king.
While I have no plans on actually bowing down to a mediocre 45 year old actor. I find it extremely interesting that Charlie Sheen has captivated our nation. We are hanging on every single word he says like it will bring some new enlightenment upon us. The pathetic thing is, he's right. He does a ton of blow, fucked Denise Richards for about as long as one can plug a supermodel before inevitably getting bored with her, now he's in the Bahamas with 2 porn stars probably shooting remakes to 2 girls one cup while he puppeteers the entire internet. The reason why we are so obsessed with this story is we are jealous and bored. I live a boring life compared to Charlie Sheen, and so do you. He is entertaining, he is rich and he doesn't give a fuck about what you think. And should he? The guy has made a career of of unapologetically partying his ass off and look at what he has done the past 24 hours. He gained 100,000 twitter followers in about 20 minutes without saying a thing, a re-run episode of his hit show Two and a Half Men won the ratings race Monday night, beating the 2nd to last episode of this season's The Bachelor. Every single media outlet is talking about him, sound boards are popping up everywhere so mindless drones of corporate America (such as myself) can make 5 oclock show up that much quicker. The guy is a fucking genius and if he does die in the next few weeks, he will be immortalized in awesome, going out at the top of his game. A bunch of "concerned" public will rant and rave about how he shouldn't be rewarded and Psychologists will talk about his addiction spiraling out of control, but this is just a projection of their envy they live with because they play by the rules and aren't rich and famous.
Enough of that, how great is it that it is finally March. I almost had a beer at lunch today it was so nice out. The Hawks and Bulls are kicking ass, we get more than 4 hours of sunlight and best of all female eating disorders are about to kick in hard core in favor of beach bodies. I may sit outside tonight, cook a steak, read Glass Castle and drink a beer I'm so excited. March is a bit of a cocktease of a month but it symbolizes a light at the end of the tunnel. Spring is officially less than 3 weeks away. Which means softball and volleyball and rollerblading along the beach are 3 weeks away. Flip flops, Monday night blackouts and all the guys dumping their hibernation girlfriend are 3 weeks away. LOVE.
This weekend I'm going to St. Louis for Mardi Gras, where I will revert to "14 year old in Panama City Beach" status and unabbashedly throw beads at chicks and demand to see tits. It's going to be fantastic, I will probably end up making out with someone or something adn getting into a bar fight, it's the little things that count.
*Quick side story*
Last year after ging to Sullard (sp?) for the parade and daytime barcrawling, I made it back to the SLU campus and decided that I MUST go bowling. Of course we were put in a lane next to a young couple on a first date. I proceeded to beligerantly toss my ball down their lane on accident and get a strike, while my roommate tried to pick up said girl on date. I can only imagine there was not a second date involved.
Anyway, after that ammount of lunacy I'm hoping I can ride out a hangover until about Thursday of the next week which is BAM you guessed it St. Patty's Day. Despite the fact that there are 2 parties that I have committed to at 7am that day I am going to clone myself so I can go to both and be Bi-Winning. And I'm thinking by the time we all wake up the following Sunday it will be basically spring right?
I have one speed, Go! I'll do a more detailed St. Louis blog later this week. See ya.
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